Sex, Contraception and Intimacy: Stay safe - FML

Stay safe

By notaslut - 08/01/2020 22:00 - United States - Greeley

Spicy

Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said, "Stay safe, slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 635

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 703

You deserved it 502

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 661

You deserved it 19 449

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 081

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 639

You deserved it 9 942

By Joe - 19/10/2009 04:32 - Cambodia

Spicy

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 111

You deserved it 2 960

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 231

You deserved it 23 006

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 147

You deserved it 4 218

By rahrahcakes - 19/03/2012 07:36 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 775

You deserved it 12 803

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 287

You deserved it 17 106

Next

Top comments

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 8 January 2020 23:38

#thathappened

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 January 2020 8:41

Some people show love in a weird way.

Comments

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 8 January 2020 23:38

#thathappened

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 9 January 2020 5:34

Coming up this week on "It's Always Sunny...", Mac reveals a past childhood trauma, Dennis doesn't use the story to bed 50 women, and Charlie doesn't sniff glue while eating cat food. Don't forget to tune in to also find out why no one calls Dee "Bird" and Frank doesn't pull a gun. All on this week's episode titled "Shit that didn't happen, but we tried to make a story out of it, anyway."

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 January 2020 8:41

Some people show love in a weird way.

DonULFonso 22

Thursday 9 January 2020 20:14

"Speaking with authority, aren't you?"

RatInc. 7

Friday 10 January 2020 1:00

Bad b*tch vibes

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 12 January 2020 16:02

im very sorry. maybe shes going through menopause. which doesnt excuse her actions, but thats my guess

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 037

You deserved it 4 250

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 101

Today, my best friend confronted his girlfriend and I due to rumors of the two of us sleeping together. We had to spend half an hour explaining to him that when we "smash", it's the two of us playing Smash Brothers together at her place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 756

Today, I was having a chat with a fellow veteran I bumped into at a car show. He ended the conversation by turning to my dad and saying, "you're lucky to catch a young honey like this." Then went on to ask if we'd tried anal yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 242

You deserved it 454

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 226

You deserved it 3 067

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 554

You deserved it 5 758

Today, I attended a virtual meeting on Zoom. In an effort to appear professional, I wore a business shirt and tie… with my pajama bottoms out of shot under the table. My camera slipped, revealing my mismatched clothes and also my footwear – one sock and one fuzzy slipper. I only noticed after my boss pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 564