Pranks, Dad jokes, Movies and Miscellaneous: Stop right now!

Stop right now!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2013 22:36 - United Kingdom - Grays

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 009

You deserved it 7 579

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 20:19 - United States - Renton

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 725

You deserved it 2 219

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 680

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 5 304

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 737

You deserved it 8 479

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 768

You deserved it 7 946

By JStein - 29/11/2012 04:33 - United States - Hampshire

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 8 960

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 888

You deserved it 3 490

By Samantha - 13/03/2012 17:59 - Canada

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 997

You deserved it 2 924

By Anonymous - 24/12/2013 17:19 - United States - Lake Ariel

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 109

You deserved it 4 044

By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 044

You deserved it 3 195

Cristoforo 17

Monday 3 June 2013 5:25

You have a fun dad

Stormdriven37 6

Monday 3 June 2013 5:26

Awww, you're his precious! That means he's willing to fall into an active volcano for you.

Comments

supercowguy 5

Monday 3 June 2013 5:35

And when you're going out the door to school he stops you while saying: "You shall not pass!"

JacobH34 10

Monday 3 June 2013 6:12

And then OP would use a fire-whip to drag Dad off a cliff right? XD

ironichalibut 24

Monday 3 June 2013 6:21

And then they'd fight into the depths of the earth, until the dad defeats the son and undergoes infinite lifetimes of repose to emerge later in the saga with otherworldly wisdom and powers?

JacobH34 10

Monday 3 June 2013 6:32

Seems valid haha. Only on Mondays though, 27.

ironichalibut 24

Monday 3 June 2013 6:38

Daughter* I didn't read the gender watermark before posting, I'll save the trolls the trouble of correcting me, you guys can go back under the bridge, or back to the ocean, depending on what kind of troller you are..

skitsmuffin 6

Monday 3 June 2013 5:41

OuMy homeschooled friend practiced his gollum impression more than he did his school work. Needless to say he was very good. And that soldier on youtube.

XxXCrissyXxX 12

Monday 3 June 2013 5:44

I'm sorry, but that is hilarious! Sounds like a fun dad :D

3rdbass 9

Monday 3 June 2013 5:45

This isn't an FML, Debbie Downer.

twilightriforce 10

Monday 3 June 2013 5:48

For it is not this day that one does not simply allow my precious to take the hobbits to Isengard where they shall not pass with my sword, my bow and my axe into the fires of Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring because in the darkness binds them.

Faff 20

Monday 3 June 2013 12:25

I feel like you just randomly wrote down the few words you could remember from LotR

KingCeltic77 18

Monday 3 June 2013 5:49

I wish I had your dad. He sounds precious.

zenrael 21

Monday 3 June 2013 5:50

Sounds like a cool Dad to me, so explain how those jokes are just out dated and aren't "very nice!" Anymore...

3rdbass 9

Monday 3 June 2013 5:54

This isn't an FML, Debbie Downer.

JennaNGood 21

Monday 3 June 2013 5:57

I would love for your dad to be my dad. Be thankful he actually enjoys the movies - it's better then your parents constantly teasing you when you're going to watch LOTR.. Every night... Lol