Customers, Awkward, Swimming pool and Work: STOP! - FML

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 4 473

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lifeguard - 04/04/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 552

You deserved it 4 497

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

By Sleepy - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 569

You deserved it 70 005

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 901

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 18 091

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 3 300

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 527

You deserved it 2 647

Dumbass friends

By georgehentson - 04/08/2021 20:01

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 178

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 513

Next

Top comments

sirpantselot 22

Friday 19 April 2013 11:46

They seem to have spent an ironically long time looking at you...

Original_Outcast 23

Friday 19 April 2013 11:46

No miss I wasn't staring at your breasts, I was making sure you weren't drowning!

Comments

Original_Outcast 23

Friday 19 April 2013 11:46

No miss I wasn't staring at your breasts, I was making sure you weren't drowning!

Not_Impressed13 9

Friday 19 April 2013 11:47

I see you brought your own flotation devices!

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Friday 19 April 2013 12:17

"Will you blow up MY floatation device?"

ironichalibut 24

Friday 19 April 2013 12:18

"All hands on d-e-ck!"

fishstick557 14

Friday 19 April 2013 16:28

Just tell your supervisor that she looked like she was in distress so you kept an eye on her

groovycrazyjoe 18

Friday 19 April 2013 20:05

can't just gawk at people it's weird

THuD29 4

Friday 19 April 2013 21:29

Wear sunglasses next time

sirpantselot 22

Friday 19 April 2013 11:46

They seem to have spent an ironically long time looking at you...

wlddog 14

Friday 19 April 2013 16:33

Yet another reason to wear sunglasses on the job.

annie_nk 22

Friday 19 April 2013 11:47

Big ego or just stupid?

JACKxRAWR 22

Friday 19 April 2013 16:30

"Of course he was looking at me. Gah, haven't you noticed how fabulous I am?"

goose12321 11

Friday 19 April 2013 19:38

Stupid most likely.

wlddog 14

Friday 19 April 2013 21:35

Why not both? (Got the idea from a Taco Bell commercial)

trivel64 16

Friday 19 April 2013 23:40

good job

ChenEighty 20

Friday 19 April 2013 11:49

I feel like if he doesn't want you looking at him, you shouldn't save him if he actually starts to drown. But hey, maybe I'm just an asshole..

RodzillaX 30

Friday 19 April 2013 11:51

I was going to say the same exact thing. Let them suffer.

ironichalibut 24

Friday 19 April 2013 11:50

Just because you're a lifeguard doesn't mean you can ogle all the swimsuits. Next time run in slow motion, then everyone will think you're in slow motion instead of just staring.

Julianne_sings 10

Friday 19 April 2013 11:50

Some people will do anything to cause drama. If you weren't staring at them, they would probably have complained that you weren't doing your job.

antonimos 12

Friday 19 April 2013 14:21

You can't win :(

attitude_angel 15

Friday 19 April 2013 11:50

Well maybe you do and you just don't realize it...

cutiepie292929 18

Friday 19 April 2013 11:52

Omg. Then they will complain if they are drowning and you don't see them

Futacy 29

Friday 19 April 2013 11:59

*Sigh* the things people do to feel wanted...

karlcolt45 19

Friday 19 April 2013 11:59

she must have been feeling self conscious about her breaststroke

Keywords

Animals Cats Christmas Health Embarrassing Work Awkward Love Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Gun control Kids Parents Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Food Delivery Family

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 517

You deserved it 15 070

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 399

You deserved it 4 642

Today, in my excitement to make some new cards for the postcard exchange I take part in, I apparently spilled my bottle of glue directly into the bag that contains my entire postcard collection. I didn't notice until several hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 666

You deserved it 611

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 1 169

Today, four kids strolled into my building, asked the receptionist where the bikes were kept, and walked out with four bikes twice their size, including mine which had a flat tire. The receptionist waved them goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 357

You deserved it 197

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 326

You deserved it 56 192

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year old sister who was sending him nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 684

You deserved it 1 681