Kids, Friends and Babies: Such a Miranda

Such a Miranda

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 00:00

Today, I realised that when I was pregnant I had loads of friends, because pregnancy is cute and awesome and empowering, until the baby actually arrived. Then so-called friends don’t want to visit anymore because babies are loud, sticky, poop everywhere, and get in the way of brunch and shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 603

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Same thing different taste

Such a Samantha

By heartbroken - 07/05/2023 22:00

Today, I excitedly told my best friends I was pregnant. Their responses were, "Ewww, I hate babies", "So we're not getting brunch anymore? That sucks" and "Do you need an abortion? I know a great clinic." Not one of them congratulated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 303

Love story

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend is pregnant, grumpy, bad tempered, argumentative, indecisive, violent, vicious, insulting, and dismissive. I mean, she was all those things anyway even before getting pregnant, so really nothing's changed except she has a belly now. I only stick around for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 039

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 398

You deserved it 3 228

By Pudgymom - 21/10/2016 02:08

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 430

You deserved it 1 736

Body double

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 223

Deadbeat

By Puffy - 06/04/2023 04:00

Today, I’m packing up to leave my home and move back to my mother's with my newborn a week postpartum, all because when I was at the hospital, I overheard my husband say to his buddy on the phone that this “father stuff” is way more than he bargained for and that he’s tired of pretending to find me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 171

Foot in mouth #366

By Anonymous - 14/04/2011 01:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 7 453

By preggersmcgee - 22/10/2012 16:09 - United States - Nixa

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 642

You deserved it 7 280

By seamonkeys - 21/03/2013 09:42 - United States

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 371

You deserved it 13 078

By Sapphirlinda - 03/07/2010 23:25 - Netherlands

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 810

You deserved it 3 272

RichardPencil 30

Monday 26 December 2022 1:28

And this is a surprise because? Once you become a parent, it's almost impossible to keep your friends who aren't. You pretty much have nothing in common with them.

historygrad74 19

Monday 26 December 2022 3:20

Brunch and shopping is a lot more fun than babies!

Comments

Anderling 32

Monday 26 December 2022 0:11

Insert political joke here

poopface82 19

Monday 26 December 2022 16:25

Why did the politician cross the road? To get to the other bribe!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 26 December 2022 1:28

And this is a surprise because? Once you become a parent, it's almost impossible to keep your friends who aren't. You pretty much have nothing in common with them.