Work: Suck up - FML

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 418

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 239

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 750

You deserved it 2 022

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 465

By Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 321

You deserved it 4 281

Overly enthusiastic

By Dan the man - 08/10/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 143

Office Space

By Mishlette - 23/01/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 2 752

By fabiennemorin35 - 30/08/2016 09:29 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 223

You deserved it 1 501

By Chansus10 - 20/10/2014 15:03 - United States - Greendale

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 549

You deserved it 2 957

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 00:20 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 8 180

Enthusiastic

By Earlybird76 - 04/04/2017 09:00 - Canada - Richmond

Today, after 6 months of unemployment and jobs searching, I showed up to my new job 10 minutes early. My new supervisor confusedly greeted me and informed me I was in fact a week and 10 minutes early. HR changed my start date and told everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 485

You deserved it 339

Next

Top comments

Soloman212 28

Saturday 22 August 2015 23:51

He's just bitter you'll probably soon replace him.

MrThump 16

Sunday 23 August 2015 0:05

Need to think glass half full here.... At least you know your boss isn't going to ask you to come in early to work!

Comments

username19999 7

Sunday 23 August 2015 3:13

Call of duty player right there

The_Majestique 18

Sunday 23 August 2015 3:50

1v1 him lol if your a "tryhard"

kovalsky_fml 10

Sunday 23 August 2015 4:04

Wow had a moment of dyslexia and thought he said you were a fucktard trying.. Your boss is a douche

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 23 August 2015 4:47

Soooo ... I guess you should show up late and "try hard" to be fired...? What a tool of a boss...

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 23 August 2015 4:56

Just keep it up...you'll move up the ranks in time it's an excellent virtue

Michaelaarnett 22

Sunday 23 August 2015 4:57

He probably plays too much Destiny like I do. I hate the people that try too hard to win. Thus the phrase '******* try hards' But he's probably just in a bad mood. Sorry OP.

Murilirum 23

Sunday 23 August 2015 5:41

Probably misinterpreted humour to lighten the mood. This is totally me when I do interviews

JGrant4325 9

Sunday 23 August 2015 5:45

Don't let that get you down! I always come in early... Just work hard and show him what you got!

LoZelda123 20

Sunday 23 August 2015 5:48

Ok So what I'm hearing is arrive 30 minutes late each day with a flask and sit on your ass all day. that sounds like the logical thing to do given his very clear expectations

Katsumaxson 0

Sunday 23 August 2015 7:51

Sounds like you need a job where people actually appreciate you going above and beyond. Keep it up I'm sure you hard work will pay off ;)

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The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 389

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 011

You deserved it 5 155

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 032

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 160

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 4 534

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 4 186

Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 756

You deserved it 2 050