Love, Weird and Awkward: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 742

You deserved it 2 832

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Same thing different taste

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 525

You deserved it 66 025

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 480

Sorry

By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 1 197

By Nice guy finishing last. - 07/04/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 385

You deserved it 930

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 243

You deserved it 9 696

Keep walking

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 22:06 - United Kingdom - Kingston

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 519

You deserved it 4 776

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 580

You deserved it 35 723

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 647

You deserved it 13 129

4ube_fml 6

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:21

Yes, it's the guy's FML really :)

azurablade 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:21

more like FHL

Comments

xduckyyy 0

Friday 22 January 2010 4:32

he had a horrified look on his face because your fat ass probobaly sprained his wrist or something

EveryDayJackAss 0

Friday 22 January 2010 4:38

he probably thinks every single ass in this world looks the same rofl

Kr3tS22 0

Friday 22 January 2010 4:51

holy $h1 I did that to someone I knew once too

devilsown007 0

Friday 22 January 2010 5:28

why is it not f his life??

AliceC_fml 3

Friday 22 January 2010 5:40

at least u got ur ass smacked. lol poor guy though

birdsfly01 0

Friday 22 January 2010 6:54

Wow that was pretty stinkin funny!! :P

Sinisin2010 0

Friday 22 January 2010 7:04

I think she was just sizing you up to see if you would have a threesome, it's a common practice to do this type of thing as a swinger couple. If you arn't all hot and bothered all they have to do is apologize, but if you are...WATCH OUT, YOU IS ABOUT TO GET....IT.....ON!!

iamtheplatypus 0

Friday 22 January 2010 9:09

suck his dick!!!!

angellight 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 2:51

lol thts a fail for the guy. haha

jumanji321 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 4:28

That happened to me in a store except the guy grabbed me and started tickling me while I wondered who the heck this person was. Then he saw who I was and apologized to my mother. This guy was in his twenties and I was 13 at the time.