Sex and Intimacy: Survivor!

Survivor!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 16:16 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 8 836

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Same thing different taste

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 005

You deserved it 7 446

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 089

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 703

You deserved it 68 950

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 014

You deserved it 9 487

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 144

You deserved it 9 447

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 436

You deserved it 8 032

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 847

You deserved it 2 434

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 917

You deserved it 9 807

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 31 398

Sounds like a keeper, actually

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 802

_DudeGuy_ 16

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:00

Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:02

You weren't able to "rise" up?

Comments

jonha21 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:34

Hahaha no "Performance"

olpally 32

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:35

I think that would motivate me to finish the job! Lol.

purple_pentapus 6

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:36

I'm that kind of roomate XD

arre2006 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:36

That's pretty damn hilarious

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:38

that is epic xD

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:41

Fart on his pillow. That will put a stye on the eye of the tiger.

LookAttMyyLifee 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:45

Purrrr , meow

Cazz91 21

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:58

"She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water succh a sweet surprise! Tastes so good make a grown man cry, sweet cherry pie...oh yea! She's my cherry pie, put a smile on your face ten miles wide! Looks so good bring a tear to your eye, sweet cherry pie!" I don't know OP, Eye of the Tiger seems a lot more less awkward to get trolled with. You could have had Warrant blaring instead.