Sex and Intimacy: Survivor!

Survivor!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 16:16 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 8 836

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Same thing different taste

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 005

You deserved it 7 446

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 089

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 703

You deserved it 68 951

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 015

You deserved it 9 488

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 144

You deserved it 9 448

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 437

You deserved it 8 032

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 847

You deserved it 2 434

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 918

You deserved it 9 807

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 31 398

Sounds like a keeper, actually

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 802

_DudeGuy_ 16

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:00

Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 18 June 2013 23:02

You weren't able to "rise" up?

Comments

lwonderful 11

Wednesday 19 June 2013 0:43

I think you roommates should have been more curtious. FYL. Don't get revenges there's no point. Just do "it" sometime else...

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:04

That song is just made for moments like this...I think different planning might not be a bad idea...

23Z9TZO 18

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:06

What a pointless comment

MuppetMerkin 10

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:06

Best roommate ever

aimee0027 17

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:14

At least he didn't come in like you asked...

pmv19675 6

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:40

I would do something like that

Futacy 29

Wednesday 19 June 2013 1:44

Oh my gosh! Why aren't your roomate and I best friends yet?

wanderingshopper 13

Wednesday 19 June 2013 2:05

You don't announce to roommates (especially guys) that you'll be intimate with your girlfriend for the first time. You just don't do it.

Futacy 29

Wednesday 19 June 2013 6:00

You don't have to hear them say it, you just have to hear them do it.

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 19 June 2013 2:08

That is indeed funny, but that song is something you listen to when your girl is in bed and you're in the bathroom getting ready to perform. Kinda like coming out of the locker room.