Swing low, sweet chariot

By I need a new ballsack. - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 775
You deserved it 4 622
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Top comments

Dreamsorrow93 24

Do your balls hang low do they waggle to your toes, can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow? Do your balls hang low!!!

218 14

Comments

AriettaX 15

At least you've got the balls to wear briefs! Ha.

28 5
PenguinBitch 43

I'm not at that age yet but I think I speak for all men by saying that the HEAT also contributes to this painful occurrence.

9 1
martin8337 35

I have tried tighty whities they are uncomfortable. Boxers are the best.

3 5
MountainGiant87 15

I feel your pain, man. Give boxer briefs a go.

9 0
Enslaved 36

¡Ay, cojones! Take care of them balls. They've been good to you all those years prior, right?

11 0
Bloink 25

i bet you wish you had a small dick now, huh

0 14
miketopgunmike1 25

did you even read the op? It says nothing about his one-eyed Willie....

8 0
sarah2144 14

Am I the only one totally confused by what turning balls into scrambled eggs means...?

8 7
urlit 13

Just do a mini pelvic thrust while sitting. They move forward so you don't crush them. The trick is doing it without looking weird as hell to the nearby females.

6 1
isisorchid 16

Is this why men slouch, sit with knees apart, or legs crossed ankle to knee and not knee over knee?

7 0
IHaveThePower 16

I have connective tissue problems, I always thought it was just more comfortable to sprawl or cross your legs funny. TIL...

0 0
Drag0nb0rn 22

Do women really not understand all the strange mannerisms we have to keep the boys happy?

9 2
GentlemanBastard 15

#32, yeah, that's exactly why. Crushing a ******** is extremely painful and how you sit is very important. The worst is that the pain isn't localized to the testes. It radiates upward and sits in the pit of your stomach for sometimes an hour or so.

1 0
doodlecloud 26

But once you've already successfully sat down and NOT sat on your balls, the legs spread thing is less necessary. You obviously wouldn't have your legs pressed tight together, crotch to knee, but you also don't need them apart at a 100 degree angle either. So 33 - we understand, but we also have to put up with that over compensating kind of behaviour, and it's pretty damn annoying, particularly on public transport.

1 0