Intimacy: Talk to me baby

Talk to me baby

By Anonymous - 17/06/2010 22:56 - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 15 977

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Same thing different taste

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

Gift of the gab

By Nicole - 13/12/2014 15:20 - United States

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 7 289

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 192

You deserved it 8 221

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 782

You deserved it 8 808

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 542

You deserved it 20 194

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 267

By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 4 825

Lost in the sauce

By klsdhjla - 15/02/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 366

You deserved it 5 630

OwNowBrownCow 0

Friday 18 June 2010 9:19

sham wow

TomasT 0

Friday 18 June 2010 9:22

Not very dirty, though... just informative.

Comments

mrmaks18 7

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:04

only homophobic people don't use the word gay anyway op try saying something else and see what effect it has? experiment with lots of different words use a dictionary if u get stuck

scuba113 2

Saturday 19 June 2010 1:07

man that sucks maybe u should just not say anything during sex try that

brittheshit 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 2:10

same thing happens to me.

missgreenday 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 3:29

No, you just distracted yourself.

Daederoth 10

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:24

If you think "I'm going to cum" is dirty talk, you have no idea.

sloop_fml 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:57

I'm going to come? wow, how dirty

DJuan 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:35

77 is a complete WIN. laughed for ****** ever when I read that

dugumit 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 9:28

you can file yourself under "dead fish".

shutyerpiehole 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 12:44

Eden --- pple posting here blow up at strangers bc they're ASKING for it---Why else would anyone post their pathetic or ridiculous or disgusting life situations here? They want their 5 minutes. Personally, I am reallllly glad they do.

page4 0

Monday 26 July 2010 10:12

re: 134 -- This website was started by a bunch of people who shared their silly, stupid and annoying daily life stories so they could laugh together and feel better. People who post FML's aren't "asking for it." They're sharing the laughter and putting their own problems in perspective in the process. People post a lot of unnecessarily rude comments, and they shouldn't. This site was supposed to be about having a good laugh, not about making people feel bad.