Intimacy: Tense - FML

Tense

By jessybear777 - 15/02/2015 03:41 - United States - Branson

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 6 464

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 212

You deserved it 7 262

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 415

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 794

You deserved it 6 662

By cockfist - 04/03/2014 22:41 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Spicy

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 6 716

By Hopeless romantic - 16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 489

You deserved it 10 323

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 347

By inhaler -.- - 06/10/2013 05:20 - United States - Huntsville

Spicy

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 560

You deserved it 5 780

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Spicy

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 073

You deserved it 5 180

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 010

You deserved it 10 831

Next

Top comments

Boopycat 15

Sunday 15 February 2015 15:58

Could have just closed your eyes?

GOtllt 17

Sunday 15 February 2015 15:59

Try telling him that you don't like it, and he'll probably stop.,Maybe he thinks you enjoy it?

Comments

Sulphuric_Glue 16

Friday 25 March 2016 0:33

If he keeps eye contact the entire time it probably means be truly loves you. Don't worry about it.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

The Top

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 087

You deserved it 39 696

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 656

You deserved it 79 917

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 753

You deserved it 948

Today, I tried to tell a girl that I had watched her Purdue boyfriend flirt around at every frat party. She thinks I'm lying and blocked me. Now all my friends are angry at me because he was a "nice guy" and she "didn't need to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 236

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 455

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 4 032