Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 571

You deserved it 84 230

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 480

You deserved it 80 861

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 106

You deserved it 8 580

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 201

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 584

You deserved it 3 120

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 7 455

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 505

You deserved it 36 980

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 895

You deserved it 8 334

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 909

You deserved it 4 918

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

AppleDapplepple 1

Tuesday 31 May 2011 4:46

Did Google Images teach you? Please say yes.

tosdyke 16

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:03

Hhhmmmm

Fici 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:09

but it does taste of tuna

olive47_fml 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:14

yeahh leme tell u i thought it was when u put food in someones bellybotton and u eat it out o.o

MistaStud 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:35

dumb***

captain0bvious_fml 2

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:50

well it COULD involve food... lol

oreocookies611 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:56

wow bro cmon I mean waht did u think she was gonna be covered in peanut butter? ha lol :D

kdscissorhands23 1

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:01

WATCH SOMETHING OTHER THAN A G-RATED MOVIE ONCE IN A WHILE YOU MORON!

birchknollbabe32 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:11

Have you been in a cave your whole life?!?

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:11

Betcha don't know what a Shocker is. :P

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Exhausted Intimacy Sex Money

The Top

Today, I was uninvited to our usual family Thanksgiving, as well as the rest of the holidays with my extended family. Why? They found out who I voted for. I won't say who, but according to my aunt, I'm to blame for putting their son's healthcare at risk. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 1 087

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

The Top

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 2 515

Today, the metropolitan police told women to "flag a bus" if we don't feel safe with a lone male officer. Because that'll work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 106

Today, I came home to find my wife and my ex-wife naked in my bed. Apparently they've been in a relationship for five months. When I told my kids, they said that they were helping to keep the secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 498

You deserved it 277

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 221

Today, I had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had to examine my abdomen. I'm generally a pretty fit woman. After touching my abdomen, my doctor called me "the perfect specimen" and asked me if I was single because his son is also single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040