Intimacy: Terminology - FML

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 571

You deserved it 84 230

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Spicy

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 480

You deserved it 80 861

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 106

You deserved it 8 580

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Spicy

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 201

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Spicy

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 584

You deserved it 3 120

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 7 455

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 505

You deserved it 36 980

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 895

You deserved it 8 334

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Spicy

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 909

You deserved it 4 918

Next

Top comments

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

GIBBYROCKS99 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:08

your a ******* retard!!!!!!

GIBBYROCKS99 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:08

your a ******* retard!!!!!!

GIBBYROCKS99 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:08

your a ******* retard!!!!!!

GIBBYROCKS99 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:08

your a ******* retard!!!!!!

elizabeth46 5

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:17

I no twelve year olds that know what that mean. how old are u?

slsrox1298 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 3:29

im twelve and i knew that... btw its only for girls in case u didnt no u dont eat out guys you give them bj's but u probs dont no what that is, its a *******.

slsrox1298 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 3:31

@342 it means to use ur mouth to get a woman off, particularly in their crotch area.. if u know what i mean...

pinklover1901 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 5:26

wow...

leashaaaaa 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 7:08

faaaaaiill.

lindsayb96 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 7:18

uhm, Hanukkah is a holiday... :P

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 398

You deserved it 14 503

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 929

You deserved it 1 803

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 991

You deserved it 3 857

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 440

You deserved it 2 386

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 413

You deserved it 8 018

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 121

You deserved it 7 283

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 076

You deserved it 152