Love: Territorial

Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 330

You deserved it 4 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 050

You deserved it 1 962

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 2 728

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 176

Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 14:00

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 109

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 1 852

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 241

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 183

Another case for Shaggy

By well then... - 21/02/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 560

You deserved it 3 403

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 720

spazzychild 12

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:08

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfiend.

Babalu722 3

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:07

wow, thats just messed up

Comments

FaceCramps 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 12:51

u should have kicked him in e nuts and ask him to get the eff away!!!!!!!

briaa23 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 15:50

umm.. i would have punched him back and said " well you married my girlfriend"

Golden_Gold 3

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:29

Why the frak would someone rage about something that happened three years ago? Hope you're okay OP. That must suck.

livedandlaughed 10

Thursday 20 October 2011 20:21

Wow, someone must have some control issues with his wife.. Sorry OP

schooyou101 5

Wednesday 9 November 2011 14:48

was it a hard punch?

Strafeh 9

Monday 14 November 2011 13:29

Bitches Be Crazy

BerserkGir 3

Thursday 1 December 2011 13:30

Dumbass lol wtf that's her past

TheCamoWulf 17

Wednesday 9 May 2012 15:21

All I can say is WTF?!

Chris20003 17

Friday 25 January 2013 17:21

Some people are just plain stupid.

TheAngryPrincess 3

Saturday 5 October 2013 18:00

Assault Sue!

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The Top

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 663

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I took a few swigs and notices a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I felt something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 800

You deserved it 6 294

The Top

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 853

You deserved it 267

Today, despite over 100 colleagues agreeing to attend a protest over our working conditions, no one turned up because they were too afraid of losing their jobs. Since I was alone, I was sacked on the spot and physically thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 234

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 907

You deserved it 4 066

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 898

You deserved it 2 476

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 981

You deserved it 19 068

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 893

You deserved it 12 561