Love: Territorial

Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 330

You deserved it 4 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 050

You deserved it 1 962

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 2 728

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 176

Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 14:00

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 109

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 1 852

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 241

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 183

Another case for Shaggy

By well then... - 21/02/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 560

You deserved it 3 403

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 720

spazzychild 12

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:08

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfiend.

Babalu722 3

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:07

wow, thats just messed up

Comments

Zepher 1

Wednesday 28 September 2011 18:47

Go egg/paintball his place

frankwolf86 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 18:52

call the cops on his ass

RubenTheGreek 8

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:06

either that man has the mental capacity of a chicken or he's trololololololing you. i vote both.

oddball1972 10

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:49

And you let him , you pussy ??

Carlie_McCartney 1

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:50

...and he thinks that...YOU are the dumbass...

ReynshineCutting 10

Wednesday 28 September 2011 22:35

You must have a totally different definition of a tool than I do then because he doesn't fit the one I know.

mbrooks5110 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 21:11

That's funny...

hoonyer 17

Wednesday 28 September 2011 21:51

charge him for assault

fanaticdragon 10

Thursday 29 September 2011 0:15

sounds like he needs some time to figure out who the real dumbass is. FYL, OP, for having to deal with that idiot.

rognycbro 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 0:24

hahaha send him an email of the play by play you gave her at the time for revenge now

Bless23 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:48

I guess he's angry that she didn't save her virginity for him? I'd be bummed out too but I wouldn't clock the guy in public.

Keywords

Sex Intimacy Love Health Kids Parents Cute Hair Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Embarrassing Scams Annoying Money Work Awkward Skincare Insects Animals Cats Neighbours Dating First Dates Alcohol Students Fight Miscellaneous AITA Parenting Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 2 865

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 6 458

The Top

Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 229

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 017

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 3 784

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 2 717

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 840

You deserved it 7 338

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 027

You deserved it 4 721