Sex and Intimacy: That kidnapped kink

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 830

You deserved it 6 109

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Same thing different taste

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 928

You deserved it 10 731

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 023

You deserved it 67 213

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 4 731

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 892

You deserved it 20 685

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 202

You deserved it 8 337

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 134

You deserved it 5 251

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 218

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 148

You deserved it 63 350

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 6 226

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 872

You deserved it 40 794

RayeofSunshine 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:24

Please tell me you're never going to have sex with him again if he's going to disrespect you like that. You should dump his ass. You deserve better.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:30

If you haven't dumped him yet, I suggest doing so. Don't put up with that. If you do put up with that, then you deserve it! Stand up for yourself.

Comments

OhShuttup 0

Friday 31 December 2010 11:10

**** him!

thebigblue 2

Friday 31 December 2010 12:34

please say you dumbed his welfare loser ass.

Goblue30093 0

Friday 31 December 2010 15:46

he was just trying to be christian from nip tuck lol

badgebunny 3

Friday 31 December 2010 16:08

lol the bagger!! classic for people who take home ugly people from the bar!

meggs_21 0

Friday 31 December 2010 20:07

rude!

meowmeowwkitty 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 3:17

OUCH. dump that jerk and get with a winner - namely someone who likes your face!

yclept 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 5:29

dump em

bailaconmigo85 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:44

I'd dump his ass.

megmw 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:46

don't worry, depression is sad, but you always find the good in life. Just don't worry

BubbaDoose 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 10:02

put a bag over you're box, haha shows him... but it was just a joke, or you must have a stunning body and ugly face lol

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The Top

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 135

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 334

You deserved it 2 705

The Top

Today, we'd booked a spot for 20 people for my grandma's birthday. Turns out the reservation didn't go through. Now 20 people are waiting inside and outside for a group of old people to finish eating. They just barely got their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 777

You deserved it 571

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 111

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 801

You deserved it 3 149

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 3 340

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 793

You deserved it 13 545

Today, while getting my teeth cleaned, the dentist’s boobs kept hitting me. Normally I wouldn’t care, but she’s a new mother. There was milk on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 069

You deserved it 494