Sex and Intimacy: That kidnapped kink

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 829

You deserved it 6 108

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Same thing different taste

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 923

You deserved it 10 730

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 67 204

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 730

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 20 681

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 192

You deserved it 8 337

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 218

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 338

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 6 224

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 871

You deserved it 40 786

RayeofSunshine 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:24

Please tell me you're never going to have sex with him again if he's going to disrespect you like that. You should dump his ass. You deserve better.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:30

If you haven't dumped him yet, I suggest doing so. Don't put up with that. If you do put up with that, then you deserve it! Stand up for yourself.

Comments

ninjasmurf 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 11:54

LOL!!!!!!

Gabbie_1210 8

Monday 3 January 2011 8:33

Umm... what the hell?

bitharvest 2

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:24

LMFAO! I love your boyfriend's sense of humour! This was the best thing I read all night!

sydneynault99 7

Wednesday 5 January 2011 6:59

lol omg like thaat song ' i just had sex ' by the lonely island feat. akon .

ChronicSnowflake 0

Friday 7 January 2011 13:47

you should dump him and give him a paper bag as a break up gift and tell him he might need it with his next girl.... Lmfao!!

Geor14 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 1:09

Dump the mother f**ker!!

xxBriMarieCxx 5

Wednesday 19 January 2011 11:33

I guess that's his way of saying your ugly.

Nonki 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 15:53

Still counts!

OriginalPooh01 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 1:22

Are you THAT ugly?? >:D

Chris_Smokes 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 2:23

Lmao

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 507

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 021

You deserved it 3 405

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 272

You deserved it 2 887

Today, after finally getting my drivers license, I was able to drive myself to school for the first time! I got fined $50 for accidentally parking in the wrong lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 139

You deserved it 1 920

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 2 121

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 6 947

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 368

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 2 111