Love, Poopoo peepee, Gross and Camping: The call of the wild

The call of the wild

By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Crown Point

Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 160

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Same thing different taste

Marking territory

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 335

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 2 035

By lillymean - 03/02/2012 01:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 6 114

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

By vetapplez - 04/04/2009 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 550

You deserved it 8 649

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 238

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

I don't know why

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 21:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got bug bit on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 516

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 169

By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 329

You deserved it 26 734

cuz803 44

Tuesday 17 May 2022 2:14

It's his weird way of saying he loves you and wants to claim you as his property

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 17 May 2022 3:50

What's worse than being pissed off?

Comments

cuz803 44

Tuesday 17 May 2022 2:14

It's his weird way of saying he loves you and wants to claim you as his property

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 17 May 2022 3:50

What's worse than being pissed off?

TwoBytesCarley 27

Tuesday 17 May 2022 4:06

Why, pissed on of course!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 17 May 2022 5:42

Yay! 50 points for Hufflepuff!

JackWood 20

Tuesday 17 May 2022 22:46

Think of it as an education. Next time you'll know which side of the tent to sleep on.

theark 14

Wednesday 18 May 2022 6:01

I want my wife to stop the same thing

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 708

You deserved it 3 899

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law and I were having a lovely chat about my partner, until she asked me if he was good in bed and started saying things like "I've seen it, great length. I'm jealous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 809

You deserved it 654

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 253

You deserved it 26 178

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 2 645

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 100

You deserved it 16 223

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 2 617

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 018

You deserved it 1 669

The call of the wild

Same thing different taste

Marking territory

Completely wet

Waste moment

I don't know why

What happened?

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