Health and Covid: The gift that keeps on giving

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 41

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Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 257

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 156

Non-subsidized

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 16:00

Today, I tested positive for COVID. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except my entire family has now fallen like a stack of dominos, and despite being asymptomatic, I now have to quarantine. My work stopped doing COVID leave in November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 144

Circular

By Mario Hugo - 05/07/2021 20:00

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 1 419

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 399

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 05:01

Today, I told my “best friend” that I'd tested positive for COVID-19. She told me to “chill”. Ten years of friendship and she didn’t even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 281

Ain't no rest for the wicked

By anon - 04/09/2022 07:00

Today, I was diagnosed with COVID, and given a week off work to quarantine. When I sat down on the sofa, my girlfriend slapped the remote out of my hand and handed me a list of chores, "to do while you're lazing around on vacation." It's four pages long. Double sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 302

By khaelian - 10/11/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 455

You deserved it 2 795

Facebook Science

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Waldwick

Today, I was going to hang out with my crush and tell him how I felt, but he cancelled because I had COVID 5 months ago and his mom is afraid I’m contagious. I’m safer to hang out with because I now have antibodies and can’t transmit it. I’ve also had 4 negative tests since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 156

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 06/11/2020 22:56 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 479

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 814

You deserved it 5 945

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 951

You deserved it 2 886

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 865

You deserved it 2 478

Today, our dishwasher broke. It's my husband's chore to do the dishes, but he refused to hand-wash them, and instead suggested we take them all up to his mother's for her to put in her dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 237

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 535

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 401

You deserved it 2 832