Money, Food, Awkward and Underwear: The twins are out

The twins are out

By Rachael - 24/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I wondered why the cashiers at my local chip shop were being so unusually friendly and knocked money off my bill. Then when I got back to my boyfriend's house, I noticed my bright red bra shining through my black top like a light. I debuted my tits for some chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 576

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Same thing different taste

Five bucks

By DreamZ - 24/05/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 350

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 347

You deserved it 47 114

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 34 699

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 791

You deserved it 3 732

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 901

You deserved it 4 712

It's a wrap

By birdiebeth13 - 10/04/2013 17:41 - United States - Chippewa Falls

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 573

You deserved it 18 552

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 808

You deserved it 23 819

Everything is clean

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 18:00

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 241

Assumptions

By adriana - 01/09/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 342

You deserved it 4 589

By Jennagirl - 12/10/2009 14:03 - Australia

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 451

You deserved it 3 756

Sady_Ct 37

Saturday 24 August 2019 12:18

Were they hot chips?

Subakie 20

Saturday 24 August 2019 13:11

I'd do that every day then

Comments

Sady_Ct 37

Saturday 24 August 2019 12:18

Were they hot chips?

Subakie 20

Saturday 24 August 2019 13:11

I'd do that every day then

Seeya55 31

Saturday 24 August 2019 15:37

Don't want to milk the well dry that fast!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 24 August 2019 17:52

You actually flashed them your bra for a discount on chips. Go braless and score free chips!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 24 August 2019 23:05

What will she have to do to score free ketchup?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 25 August 2019 2:27

I was going to say “go commando and wear a miniskirt,” but for that she’d get a lot more than some free condiment — she’d get the whole store!

mekiswrite 21

Saturday 24 August 2019 20:36

Wear that outfit again when it's time for a big grocery shop.

leighmacj 11

Saturday 24 August 2019 21:57

Sounds like you got a good deal, how it this an FML? You know your going to do this again intentionally now.

tounces7 27

Sunday 25 August 2019 5:12

#winning

alycion 38

Sunday 25 August 2019 8:43

**** happen. At least it got you something. We’ve all accidentally flashed someone before. It’s just boobs.

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 25 August 2019 9:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 25 August 2019 9:14

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!

Sarah_360767614 8

Monday 26 August 2019 8:42

A store that sells only chips exists?

Suzi_d16 27

Saturday 1 May 2021 1:41

A chip shop is a takeaway. Fish and chips...

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Lonely Wanker Halloween Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 17

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 618

You deserved it 11 130

The Top

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 70

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 435

You deserved it 4 847

Today, I had an interview for a new position in my company. The head of HR decided to sit and I got so nervous that I just spouted gibberish for 45 minutes. Pretty sure I convinced her I’m not qualified for the position I’m currently in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 582

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 982

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 170

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 418

You deserved it 8 821