Awkward and Intimacy: THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE… OHHH - FML

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE… OHHH

By SplishSplash - 01/09/2013 01:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 610

You deserved it 6 922

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Same thing different taste

Good vibrations

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 832

You deserved it 16 329

Isn't that, like, a crime?

By Dan - 22/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Spicy

Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 610

Ski me to heaven

By Frostbitten - 27/02/2013 03:00 - United States - Freeport

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 319

You deserved it 6 125

By OG Pinecone - 23/07/2019 20:11 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 223

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

Orange river splashing

By nightwalker2253 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Orange

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 2 507

Sea legs

By have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 5 072

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 836

You deserved it 4 133

Next

Top comments

AnOriginalName 19

Sunday 1 September 2013 8:34

Talk about getting wet...

flashback.miss 28

Sunday 1 September 2013 8:32

Jeez, hopefully he'll understand and not bring it up.

Comments

SpcNemo 10

Wednesday 11 September 2013 20:12

I'm not sure how to respond to this.. Though if there was an "I love my life" site. Pretty sure your dads friend would have posted about this there.

sigaweeds 7

Tuesday 7 October 2014 6:24

This sounds amazing and not like a FML

PyreFerret 6

Thursday 23 October 2014 6:01

Sounds like a pleasurable problem. So few of those these days...

God_Fuckers 12

Monday 19 January 2015 5:35

Well at least Was your dad's friend hot

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 101

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 979

The Top

Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 256

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 72

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 049

You deserved it 7 634

Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 478

You deserved it 53 334

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 2 314

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 280