Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 204

You deserved it 2 623

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 561

You deserved it 7 735

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 796

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 231

You deserved it 5 177

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 967

You deserved it 2 882

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 2 351

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 4 377

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 2 255

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

MissUmSeriously 2

Friday 24 February 2012 15:48

Ewww What a weirdo! I hope you pulled out, came on her face, and never talked to her again!!

Vixen91 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:47

Omg what? Is she into incest?

Elfkid21 19

Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:09

That's... Terrifying...

fyredancer911 3

Friday 10 August 2012 3:46

Mood killer much?

Lucky7Samson 10

Saturday 13 April 2013 1:36

Do you look like her brother? And do her parents refuse to leave the two of them alone? If so I have bad news...

_justin_case_ 7

Tuesday 16 July 2013 6:23

Almost made it out of the friendzone

daemonsparta 16

Monday 29 June 2015 14:54

.... what does she do with her brothers?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 52

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 193

You deserved it 9 041

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 236

Today, a drunk woman kicked me in the balls for not buying her another drink. That's the closest thing to intimacy I've ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 295

You deserved it 1 684

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my parents, expecting them to be thrilled. Instead, they were furious. Apparently, being unmarried and on disability means I can't raise a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 709

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 412

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342