Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything - FML

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 204

You deserved it 2 623

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 561

You deserved it 7 735

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 796

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 231

You deserved it 5 177

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 967

You deserved it 2 882

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 2 351

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 4 377

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 2 255

Next

Top comments

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

JayJavaMonsterr 10

Monday 30 January 2012 1:16

If you're like a brother to her, why would she still have sex with you? That makes perfect sense...

chris3113 7

Monday 30 January 2012 1:59

Joe dirt moment lol

kemmiixxbear 3

Monday 30 January 2012 4:38

she could of said dad instead of brother

sgeorge879 1

Monday 30 January 2012 7:24

Doesn't matter had sex

EdifierArtist 3

Monday 30 January 2012 17:16

That's just ****** up....

allknowingbrony 5

Monday 30 January 2012 22:29

WINCEST!

Nashiq 8

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:38

incest is wincest

Animeluver 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:06

Woow at least another guy wasn't inside her

monstermash1234 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:00

What does she do with her brother?

grandsymphony 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 11:01

She couldnt have picked a better time? I guess the more awkward the better for people these days wow i dont understand. Theres a time and place for everything

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 035

You deserved it 4 250

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

The Top

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 519

You deserved it 4 695

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 487

You deserved it 13 988

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 634

You deserved it 4 842

Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 128

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 602

You deserved it 26 778

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 486

You deserved it 15 457