Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 569
You deserved it 7 736
New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

The_Big_Boss 20

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

282 14

Comments

friedpwnadge 25

Tell her that all she is to you is a piece of meat with emotions. It's sure to smooth out the breakup.

111 8
gracehi 31

#9, That would only hurt if she cared about OP, which apparently she doesn't. OP would be more hurtful to her by saying she's ugly and lousy in bed, because clearly such shallow matters are the only things she cares about.

110 4
zBLAKEz 23

OP could say that the only way he gets off in bed is by thinking about her sister/BFF/mother or somebody else along those lines.

83 5
StillUsesMyspace 22

Or he could burn everything she owns with a can of gas and a lighter!!!!!! (insert evil laugh of your choice here)

25 5
Dramori 29

Tell her she's an overly-complicated life support system for a ****** you like to occasionally use.

22 2
thesimp 6

Na OP should wear a clown costume, honk a giant horn and give her a fortune cookie break up note

0 0
FLIPmcCOOL 16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
silvercamaro 22

Correction: OP should be happy that he has a good friend

112 1
sweetnsourrr 11

Im just wondering why his girlfriend, hopefully now his ex, would admit to his best friend that? She is the biggest idiot if she thought he/she wouldn't tell him. *face palm*

49 2
SpamPam 18

Yeah makes me suspicious of his best friend

39 0
The_Big_Boss 20

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

282 14
ChristianH39 30

That's assuming she thinks he's a good *****

102 2
kuzzy00 22

Ok nobody is saying it. OP is a needy little bitch. That's what she means by "all the emotions" !!

0 1
Demig0d6 14

She's probably assuming that ops head is the tip

6 23
rahulcool7 14

Honestly the way he is being used has more pros than cons

10 1
ShadeOfFML 2

Looks like she has her priorities straight

26 77
LegalLoitering 12

That was sarcasm; a joke. She doesn't have her priorities straight, obviously.

6 23
bluucat 17

At least she still considers that you're good in bed?

105 10
larrena2377 26

Sounds like you need a new girlfriend

112 4
gracehi 31

And here we were thinking that men were shallow ass holes who use others for their bodies. Turns out women can be as douchie as men. HOORAY EQUALITY!!! :D I knew that whole women's lob thing would pan out one day!

189 7
RedPillSucks 31

Women's lob. I know it's a typo, but it does seem like she needs a lobotomy

36 3
gracehi 31

lol! Yeah, I meant women's *lib, but I like your idea too!

21 2
Razi_tail 25

This comment was brilliant! I am female and I approve this equality statement. :P

14 3
siggy_mcsigx 22

Any real feminist knows women are just as capable of being assholes and shallow as men are!

13 1
LibertySteak 7

Don't need to be a feminist to know it, just admit it ;)

2 2
flame5768 14

they just exploit how wrong it is when men do it. hell, a man will be insulted if he's raped!

0 0
grumper 14

yeah well...as long as you think in categories like 'typical men/women' you wont get your equality ;-) Im a woman and i know very well how 'douchie' women can be...because humans can be assholes.

3 0
kitcatjb 12

Are you sure she wasn't joking? Buy her a ***** and see if she breaks up with you!

54 4
aireeahna 23

Do you realize how expensive a ***** is these days? :p

11 2
iiMichy 19

They're as low as 17.99$ at SpencersOnline!

15 2
LegalLoitering 12

I'm not gonna ask how you know this. *if you know what I mean.*

2 18
JaneChemi_fml 21

9.99 on Amazon. not that I would know or anything....

1 0
iiMichy 19

Just make sure they weren't already used... I mean unless you're in to that

1 0