Intimacy: Timing

Timing

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me, "When?" so I replied "Towards the end." I didn't realize she was actually asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 629

You deserved it 65 156

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Same thing different taste

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 8 290

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 53 658

By greenchan - 25/02/2011 05:12 - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 20 954

By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 751

You deserved it 7 803

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 405

You deserved it 33 876

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 414

You deserved it 1 587

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 935

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 130

You deserved it 4 187

nuclear 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

Yeah even I didn't understand what she meant by that. FHL for not being clear enough. Nah, no one's life is ****** in this situation..

f_ed_panda 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

how is your life f'd? Seriously, just mentioning that you had sex and the condom broke is more of a FYL than is getting confused by the doctor's question. O.o

Comments

lfaye17 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:19

this isn't an fml....at all

newbieattech 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:23

I usually don't like it when people say that an FML isn't an FML, but this sounds pretty good to me..... whatever, maybe you just are one of those rare creatures who never embarrasses herself.

planetearth 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:33

how the **** is this an FML?

levitate 3

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:34

If the FML here is that you didn't realize what she was asking, then this has got to be the shittiest and lamest FML on this site. Should've just stuck to the condom breaking as ******* up your life if it was unwanted.

justxdream 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:35

i would consider this 'normal', not quite 'FML' status.

Roofus 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:37

Not FYL, but F your murdered child's life.

levitate 3

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:38

Maybe I should shoot you in the leg. Then you can come here and post an FML about being shot because of your off-the-charts lameness.

PsychoX 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:39

I think this is probably the first time I've agreed with everyone whining that this isn't a valid FML. It's not. It's not even mildly embarrassing. It's an "oh, woops, I misunderstood what you were saying and admitted to having sex while asking for a morning after pill." 68, I think I love you...