Intimacy: Timing

Timing

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me, "When?" so I replied "Towards the end." I didn't realize she was actually asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 629

You deserved it 65 156

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 8 290

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 53 658

By greenchan - 25/02/2011 05:12 - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 20 954

By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 751

You deserved it 7 803

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 405

You deserved it 33 876

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 414

You deserved it 1 587

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 935

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 130

You deserved it 4 187

nuclear 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

Yeah even I didn't understand what she meant by that. FHL for not being clear enough. Nah, no one's life is ****** in this situation..

f_ed_panda 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

how is your life f'd? Seriously, just mentioning that you had sex and the condom broke is more of a FYL than is getting confused by the doctor's question. O.o

Comments

sgriff 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:23

that's stupid enough that it earns you the right to be sterilized. you should be shot for taking the morning after pill to begin with, but maybe life will be better without a spawn with your stupidity.

J04NN4 3

Tuesday 20 April 2010 23:04

Typical pro-lifer... a grown, feeling, adult human deserves to die because she took a tablet which may or may not have prevented a bunch of cells (it's NO MORE than that if you're still within morning after pill time frame, FFS) from becoming attached. Pro 'life' my ass.

xNephilim 18

Wednesday 19 December 2012 8:31

It's not even a bunch of cells yet. It's an egg and a sperm that haven't merged yet. All the morning after pill does is prevent fertilization. It's kind of like telling a guy to go to the wrong place for his date, which makes him miss it and therefor end any possibility of a relationship. The morning after pill just makes sure the sperm doesn't "go to the right place for his date", therefor preventing the conception of a child.

lkrofct 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:23

Not an FML, and this isn't even funny

UnofficialBlonde 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:26

it'd be like an FYL if this was like a week later, and your boyfriend was the uglier than Richard Simmons. get this off FML.

BobSwarley 4

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:28

@everyone: if you want FMLs up to your ridiculously stupid standards then Mod 24/7 so nothing shitty gets through worth it? no GTFO

Tubasaurus 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:27

I'm sure you're not the only incredibly embarrassed customer she has had. And before more people spout this nonsense, the morning after pill is not abortion. The morning after pill prevents conception, and it works because conception can take a couple of days.

225779 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:28

This one was super lame. And you can just go to the pharmacy if you want the morning after pill.

ssfchik17 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:29

agree w/ 33 & # 36, how do you not know!!?? and if u dont get it use contex clues, you know, read everything else she said. the condom broke & shes getting the morning after pill so she wont get prego. duh not an fyl, misunderstandings happen to everyone all the time. you should've said, "Today, I was having sex and the condom broke I might be pregnant. FML" thats a fml.

monicamischief 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:33

what is wrong with you 55. the morning after pill is not an abortion pill it's a pill that prevents a baby from being created in the first place. if you are against the pill, you must be against condoms too. which is absolutely ridiculous. heaven forbid we stop ourselves from having 3483948 kids. you need to pull the stick out of your ass and stop being so angry becauseyoudon'tgetany. grow the hell up

SlooterMcGavin 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:36

Can someone please explain to me the moderation of which submissions actually get chosen here? I'm 0 for 2 based on dirtiness. Moderators your hits will pick up if we weren't so PG-13 rated. This is straight artarded and in no way an FML