Intimacy: TMI!!

TMI!!

By mystupidson - 31/08/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 843

You deserved it 3 970

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Same thing different taste

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By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 178

Make it stop

By firstandlastjob - 13/06/2020 14:11

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 213

Quite the misunderstanding

By Janer88 - 30/11/2009 05:51 - Canada

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 658

You deserved it 3 243

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 450

By oh my son - 23/12/2012 06:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 757

You deserved it 5 781

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 647

You deserved it 5 064

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

Meat beating

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 215

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 961

By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/02/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 714

You deserved it 5 692

Battledog5006 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

so thats where my tax dollars are going

OcampoFTW 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:42

Sounds like the average bro talk

Comments

picklemonger 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 15:39

I say YDI because that's not an easy topic to talk about in a foreign language. You should still feel proud.

OfficeNinja 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 16:06

the eavesdropping woman could have misinterpreted the banter. or, the government interpreter is trained to put people at ease so they will say something important.

maddy1028 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 16:08

Whatever it takes to get the job done right ;) ;)

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 31 August 2011 17:56

Masturbation... The universal language....

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:03

So, when a mute guy is masturbating, that means he's talking the whole way through it. I wonder what he's saying? It could be a bit off putting if it translated as "loaf of bread, loaf of bread, loafofbread, loafofbread, pigeon, pigeon, pigeon!". Needs study.

Raheemdplayer 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:11

Guys still talk about that over 18? Lol that's jokes, FYL

MrFluffu 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:24

Thats a nice son u raised ;)

bullrider92 19

Thursday 1 September 2011 5:32

of course.that is why she is so proud of him

cncarava 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:03

I think that is a legit reason for not wanting to have sex it is creepy.

writerforlife 9

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:55

Best comment EVER!

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:09

Are you sure she didn't say they were discussing "maths debating techniques"? It's a common error in translation. More than one statistical workshop for deaf/mutes has been brought to tears of silent laughter over that one.