Intimacy: TMI!!

TMI!!

By mystupidson - 31/08/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 843

You deserved it 3 970

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 178

Make it stop

By firstandlastjob - 13/06/2020 14:11

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 213

Quite the misunderstanding

By Janer88 - 30/11/2009 05:51 - Canada

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 658

You deserved it 3 243

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 450

By oh my son - 23/12/2012 06:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 757

You deserved it 5 781

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 647

You deserved it 5 064

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

Meat beating

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 215

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 961

By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/02/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 714

You deserved it 5 692

Battledog5006 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

so thats where my tax dollars are going

OcampoFTW 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:42

Sounds like the average bro talk

Comments

captainfalcon7 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:06

hopefully Obama was there. He definitely needs something to help take all the stress off

mrahhhhh 21

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:33

FYL for having to listen to your son talk about "The Stranger" with a bunch of strangers.

sherryl_fml 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:39

Yeah hey off his back woman!!

mrahhhhh 21

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:46

My God, if you're going to comment in English, at least learn it first.

juliushater 12

Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:29

Sherryl just got owned !!!!! ha hah aha

Legendslayer222 26

Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:59

What a jumble of words. Translation?

Petunia888 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:19

Hey off her back people!! She's hot and single. Lol

Enigmax2514 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:44

Lol this reminds me of 1 of the simpsons episodes, the crepes of wrath where Bart learns French and insults homer while homer feels proud for the boy

SpruceDread4578 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:03

Just another day in the office.

BigRigX 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:46

You expect less from a male?

iamfabio1990 12

Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:57

If you can trust that the woman telling you was telling the truth, she may have been trolling.

perdix 29

Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:29

Is this part of the Stimulus Package?

jazzybaby179 22

Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:41

Ahh the government men are very skillful with their hands

kylebeast11 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:06

She may of been lying. But if not he has my respect

Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 533

You deserved it 32 703

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 8 783

The Top

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 972

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 797

You deserved it 55 905

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 091

You deserved it 641

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 2 656

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 3 359

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one-hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200 metres from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 099

You deserved it 45 455

Same thing different taste

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