Miscellaneous: Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 997

You deserved it 2 766

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Same thing different taste

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 5 257

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 2 911

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 7 399

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 351

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 675

By trickortreat - 01/11/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 090

Cursed

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 4 059

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 2 384

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 1 859

Next

Top comments

tkdgold03 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:04

how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..

IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:10

Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.

Comments

tilgare 2

Wednesday 28 December 2011 8:27

Fyl, but I can't stop laughing.

NoobyNed 4

Wednesday 28 December 2011 16:21

Btw ppl, thanks for all the support, and I'm the OP who wrote this FML. The reason I didn't do it on my account was because I thought the FML staff hated my nickname. Anywho, after the guy threw leaves at me, he stood there laughing while I got a fire extinguisher. After I put out my burning door rug, I hit him with the fire extinguisher.

blackjewels 2

Wednesday 28 December 2011 17:46

Call the police

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 28 December 2011 18:27

Chase the ***** down and **** him next time

crazyarsedfly 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 10:49

Bloody bastard. Call the police indeed.

morganlee 7

Thursday 5 January 2012 0:04

Press charges!!!!! ******* mother ******!

Astroashton92 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:59

Good thing he was not a very eccentric version of your boss eh?

needsagf14 12

Monday 15 April 2013 5:21

On Christmas?

SAGARCo 19

Monday 26 October 2015 5:26

Run after him and tell him he dropped something and give it back to him.

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 024

You deserved it 2 369

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 995

You deserved it 7 443

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 708

You deserved it 4 441

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 841

Today, my wife had a dream in which I died while she was pregnant. This is troubling, especially since I had the exact same dream the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 87

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 181

You deserved it 27 961