Love: Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite...

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 59 711

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 22 011

Hot stuff

By Liam. - 01/02/2010 05:15 - France

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 653

You deserved it 51 987

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 943

You deserved it 7 755

By wilsmith - 01/02/2010 12:36 - China

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 577

You deserved it 26 624

By soldier - 06/05/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 632

You deserved it 10 561

By TuralSucks - 11/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 475

You deserved it 17 959

Nice try

By damn... - 28/10/2008 08:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 803

You deserved it 6 280

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 560

By Raw95 - 15/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 892

You deserved it 24 596

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

Occam 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 22:47

You think that's bad, I did the same thing while eating a ****.

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 22:56

Women love chocolate, women love little kids. You're like the best of both worlds.

Comments

omar_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 5:01

haha thats pretty funny but embarrassing i feel for you... you shoulv'e made a funny situation out of it

eastiezbrazilian 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 8:42

thats what happens to desperate high school girls who just wanna get nailed

Juli_fml 0

Friday 8 May 2009 7:36

i went out on a date with a guy and this happened. it was such a huge turn off.

cguardchik_012 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 9:14

haha...fail

shilo_wallace 0

Monday 11 May 2009 6:57

I would have thought it was cute.... XD

bsbrulez92704 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 0:45

dont you just hate when that happens. better luck next time hey maybe she wanted some of that candy

fuglyasian 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:18

hahahaha thats not cute. Weird. XD

Giselle468 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 8:15

Ya know not all girls are into girls, OP. Don't try hitting on girls unless you know they're not lesbian.

somename1223132 5

Sunday 1 November 2009 19:09

Thas y u use kit kat

k43L1 0

Monday 9 November 2009 5:47

rotflol that's classic.

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You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

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Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

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Today, my sister stole my credit card, used it to rack up a small debt, then told my mom she will pay me back in the future one day, “happily”. But not right now because she has better things to spend her money on. FML

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Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

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Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

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Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

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Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 115

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Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML

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