Miscellaneous: Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered...

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 844

You deserved it 4 229

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Same thing different taste

By dee - 10/12/2011 10:14 - United States

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 088

By Username - 02/08/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 322

You deserved it 9 684

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 378

You deserved it 3 614

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 587

Giga barf

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 06:00

Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 99

Barf

By epicfailureismyl - 05/04/2018 15:00

Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 944

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 144

You deserved it 3 215

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

DocBastard 38

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:22

"Ho ho hooouurrgh!"

the_zero_article 15

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:20

Sounds like someone had a few too many Christmas spirits...

Comments

christian2234 15

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:39

Why was the window open.. :O

PenguinBitch 43

Saturday 21 December 2013 9:00

Because they can.

doodlebug33 20

Sunday 22 December 2013 6:39

What are the odds of a Santa hwarfing through the window?

Ambient25 24

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:40

Yes the very strong holiday spirits that need mixers...

ironmany_fml 23

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:43

looks like someone got an early Christmas gift...

aubama_fml 15

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:44

You didn't have to wait for Santa to leave your presents under the tree

PieReaper 11

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:47

Why see you parked in front of a bar with the windows down?

AnmolArora 15

Saturday 21 December 2013 5:48

santa's gift;-)

Joedbag 8

Saturday 21 December 2013 6:03

I hope you punched him in the face!

uarudeassbitchyo 17

Saturday 21 December 2013 6:06

Looks like coal is out of date ....

ashleyhalla 21

Saturday 21 December 2013 6:06

When you saw him staggering to the car why didn't you just put the window up?

Nyarlothatep 12

Saturday 21 December 2013 6:09

And this, people, is exactly the kind of person that made me stop going to bars. They get so upset when you vomit on their lap..

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Love Jealousy Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs Work AITA

The Top

Today, I found my boyfriend browsing tablet PCs on the internet. He actually had a tablet until a while ago, but he hardly ever used it. He still has two smartphones, a desktop PC and a laptop he never uses. But yeah, sure, he needs a tablet. Because, "they're cheap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 276

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 37 407

The Top

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 283

You deserved it 10 163

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 299

You deserved it 14 774

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 58 629

Today, I entered a restaurant just to use the WiFi. In order not to look cheap, I ordered a meal and a beverage. The WiFi didn't work and now I don't have enough money to buy dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 956

You deserved it 12 769

Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 316

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 588

You deserved it 2 879

Same thing different taste

Giga barf

Barf

Oh what a night

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