Miscellaneous: Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 295

You deserved it 4 524

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Same thing different taste

By guessthatsatrickthen - 31/10/2015 17:19 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 1 973

What do y'all want?

By ladymichee - 07/07/2021 14:01

Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 80

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 895

You deserved it 40 591

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 050

You deserved it 6 552

Landlords gonna landlord

By goingtobeevicted - 25/04/2013 06:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 907

You deserved it 48 205

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 663

You deserved it 2 777

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 693

You deserved it 433

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 654

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 313

You deserved it 287

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 232

Next

Top comments

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:10

was he hot?

rushiee 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:12

I wanna be just like him when I grow up (: lol

Comments

WildInTheStreets 5

Tuesday 12 April 2011 7:54

that is truly hilarious. not an fml.

Dillandinator 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 15:50

LMFAO! :D Favourited ;)

Xxak907xX 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 1:32

O_o

figuresk8tr4life 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 18:23

Wowww

reapingkitty123 0

Friday 15 April 2011 6:52

the naked stoner is a LEGEND!!!

everlife_333 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 19:47

lol that happened at my house when I was like five it was traumatizing

ladybuz 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 2:41

Did You Get Stoned To.!!

theMGM101 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 14:18

yeah... sorry about that...

jewelsfml 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:50

OK he had to be more ****** up than just stoned. come on now

gage27 5

Monday 28 November 2011 4:04

That shit musta been dank.. Being naked is always a good idea(;

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Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, my ex-wife brought the kids to me angry that she had tried to pick up some guy but the kids ruined it just by being there, so she brought them to my house because she couldn’t be bothered this week. The judge giving her primary custody is a travesty of our legal system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 77

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 321

You deserved it 3 583

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 909

You deserved it 56 129

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 438

You deserved it 9 198

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 2 653

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 452

You deserved it 23 811

Today, I shat myself at work. To get home, I have to take two buses with a 20-minute wait in-between. So yes everyone, I'll be 'Shit Girl' for the next two hours, and probably behind my back at work for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 171