Miscellaneous: Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 300

You deserved it 4 524

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Same thing different taste

By guessthatsatrickthen - 31/10/2015 17:19 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 1 974

What do y'all want?

By ladymichee - 07/07/2021 14:01

Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 80

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 897

You deserved it 40 594

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 556

Landlords gonna landlord

By goingtobeevicted - 25/04/2013 06:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 911

You deserved it 48 209

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 2 777

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 694

You deserved it 434

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 659

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 315

You deserved it 287

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 235

Next

Top comments

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:10

was he hot?

rushiee 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:12

I wanna be just like him when I grow up (: lol

Comments

Uilove1 7

Monday 11 April 2011 3:40

haha we wanted to GET SOME (;

sprtn1 0

Monday 11 April 2011 4:03

haha that sucks...

ohpoopy 2

Monday 11 April 2011 4:36

sorry my dad just goes were he pleases. lol

bellatrix4 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:00

He can't help that he doesnt like clothes.....

iDoubtWhales 7

Monday 11 April 2011 5:06

You should've helped him

jenna5960 7

Monday 11 April 2011 5:22

Did you at least ask him to get you high? Actually, you probably wouldn't want to share drugs with a naked guy, unless he's wearing a fanny pack.

disasterpieces_m 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:28

that poor guy was just tryin to find some chicken nuggets and chocolate milk.. help out a random stoner when you can... they end up friends for life

CreepyNinja 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:28

was his name by any chance Charlie sheen?

dansco 24

Monday 11 April 2011 5:42

#179 Wins! You're just bitter that you aren't naked and stoned! Just ask him to share and all is well lol

j_cat187 19

Monday 11 April 2011 6:09

i bet he had the munchies and wanted a sandwich

kkay_soccergirl 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:22

bwhaha lock your doors next time

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Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 4 100

Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 266

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 129

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 129

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 3 524

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 802