Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part...

FML for mobile
Free

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 3 891

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 155

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 113

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 229

You deserved it 3 222

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 3 070

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 456

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 523

You deserved it 869

By RosaMaravillosa - 27/06/2016 18:09 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 721

You deserved it 2 743

Stuck in a holding pattern

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 21:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, i managed to carve an hour out of my daily working-from-home grind to get some exercise and fresh air, only to spend all of that time stuck in the bathroom trying to take the same shit. I fucking loathe having Crohn's disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 117

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 88

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 631

Perdition 4

Saturday 4 June 2011 20:01

There are these things called bushes. Generally located in the vicinity of everywhere, they can be used for a multitude of activities, including: - Looking pretty - Looking ugly - Being shaped into odd animals - Being shaped into objects and shapes - Covering someone while they take a shit - and more! Please call 1 123 456 7890 to reserve your FREE copy of "How to man up and not be a pansy about things"!

xxAlli 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 19:57

Go to another building instead of waiting?

Comments

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Saturday 4 June 2011 22:04

just eat at any fast food chain. most likely taco bell. whatever goes in, comes out (quickly)

liy223 6

Saturday 4 June 2011 22:33

I hate poop, diaria, etc. FML's...

ViciousFoxes 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 22:34

Shit in the bushes. Or in a gas station down the street. I mean, you've got plenty of time to leave, shit and come back.

MariaaIsSexyy 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 22:35

I HAVE A. QUESTION!!!!.....!!!!!

bluegoldfish 7

Saturday 4 June 2011 22:57

sounds crappy.

I_be_darn 3

Saturday 4 June 2011 23:09

will shit happens

perdix 29

Saturday 4 June 2011 23:15

Shit in your pants and go buy some new underwear before your building opens. Never resist the urge to poop when you are constipated, you'll just cause an even worse logjam.