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By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 716
You deserved it 3 891
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Top comments

Perdition 4

There are these things called bushes. Generally located in the vicinity of everywhere, they can be used for a multitude of activities, including: - Looking pretty - Looking ugly - Being shaped into odd animals - Being shaped into objects and shapes - Covering someone while they take a shit - and more! Please call 1 123 456 7890 to reserve your FREE copy of "How to man up and not be a pansy about things"!

96 15
xxAlli 0

Go to another building instead of waiting?

52 3

Comments

opendoorclosed 8

There's bound to be a fast food place near! If not....... well... 30 mins of holding it in.

1 0
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1

wow that really sucks! you should go find a bush.

0 0
rhysfucker 24

that sucks, but adapt and get that load out. if u get constipated often, drink more water, more veggies. if that doesn't work, take a tablespoon of Tabasco. seriously it helps start things moving...

3 0
TheDrifter 23

Steamed vegetables, unwashed fresh fruit and all natural imported Mexican river water. If that diet doesn't get things working nothin will.

0 0
a_nutritionist 10

try increasing levels of water soluble fiber rather than insoluble, also increasing water intake is important to avoid dehydration as excrement passes through the large intestine. fun fact, to induce a laxative type effect you should try increasing your intake of tropical fruits. its the sugar in the fruit - which specific saccharide i dont remember, as im running on 2 hours sleep and currently its all a blur to me - causes water to be absorbed into the intestine during digestion resulting in watery stool. try a large glass of 100% juice and a bag of mangoes and youll be crapping pretty soon. i would advise against doing that regularly unless you want overall dehydration. unless you maintain a high level of water intake then i suppose its effects would be minimal and help to control persistent constipation problems...

0 0
kaleighiscool 0

PRUNE JUICE. ;D

1 5
Discombobulated9 12

If you haven't had a poop in over a week, I'm sure waiting 30 minutes more wouldn't hurt.

2 3
MovingOn09 0

go to a store or somewhere where there is a bathroom

1 0
aback 4

They barred the door. They don't want that shit in *their* building!

0 0