Love: Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush,...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 20:08 - United States - Clarksville

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 346

You deserved it 3 006

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Same thing different taste

By benjavel71 - 10/01/2017 11:13 - United States - Prairie Grove

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 804

You deserved it 9 118

By eww. - 22/03/2013 05:28 - Australia

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 366

You deserved it 7 201

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By Infested Girlfriend - 30/04/2020 05:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 308

By anonamous - 17/07/2009 16:59 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 231

You deserved it 96 729

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 16 895

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 01:08

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 235

You deserved it 963

By caliibbyy - 29/11/2010 05:03

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 090

You deserved it 7 251

By violetbcracecar - 14/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Suisun City

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 598

You deserved it 955

By kiwi - 11/11/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 11 483

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 835

You deserved it 7 272

WCARlover 34

Saturday 27 June 2015 16:15

You may have gotten laid but the price was paid

lily05_fml 16

Saturday 27 June 2015 16:08

You should have done it in the shower

Comments

vikky538 28

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:00

Everything has a price of its own.

tosdyke 16

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:14

She could have given you something much worse...

mommytoE 6

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:23

She's just preparing you for parenthood. Happens to the best of us.

CaptainFluffyPaw 19

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:33

RID step 1 lice killing shampoo works great for getting rid of lice.

MmmPinkTacos 11

Saturday 27 June 2015 18:35

It could have been worse and been herpes, the other gift that keeps on giving

TheBossBryson 11

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:20

You still like her?

daddysgirl8 21

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:29

I think if you put mayo on your hair and a shower cap over it, it suffocates the lice.

rockwrench 18

Sunday 28 June 2015 6:45

How about adding bacon, lettuce, tomatoe. You could have a headwich.

AyeJay101 25

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:30

Well... Just be happy the bugs are up there and not down there.

looms123 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:34

Just count yourself lucky it wasn't public lice

lexwilder 16

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:44

my first thought too

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:59

pubic, not public

Ultradmac 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 20:12

worth it?

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Work Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I never wanted a wife, so of course I got married. I never wanted kids, so of course my unwanted wife insisted we have two. My mother-in-law, who I wish daily would get hit by a bus, just got hired at my workplace. My only pleasure in life is fishing and my kids just broke my only rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 4 358

Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 913

Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 258

You deserved it 331

Today, I got an empty peanut butter jar to put my used insulin needles in so nobody gets stuck. My husband washed it for me. He also wrote all over it: "Fuck off!" "Sharp!" "Do not fucking touch!" "Go away!" "Do not fucking throw away!" Thanks, sweetie. Now it looks like a crazy guy shouting on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 320

Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 201

Today, my girlfriend’s friend decided she wanted to tell her that I was flirting with other girls, just so we would break up. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 111

Same thing different taste

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