This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 01/11/2016 06:25 - United States

Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 139
You deserved it 2 001
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Top comments

loxe_fml 15

FYL, indeed. Having such a caring boyfriend must be awful. Next he'll want to make you dinner or something; break up with him before it happens!

375 20
takara98 17

Well, maybe some cuddling and kissing will do the trick. While it's not especially getting-off worthy, it is quite intimate.

209 1

Comments

captainsmegma 12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
9 34
yerawizardlizzy 27

Comments like this are just gross. Have you no shame?

16 11
Talented73 54

Obviously, he was trying to be funny. Look at his screen name.

10 3
Talented73 54

It's only for two weeks, for God's sake. This isn't even worthy of being an FML. Some people are deformed for life or dying from cancer. Get over it and stop being such a crybaby!

0 3
Cynical_1 26

Wow...last time I questioned the fail worthiness of an FML I got banned from the site for 24 hours and threatened with more lengthy bans if I did it again because it's a violatioan of the terms of usage...or service or whatever. If it's been posted then it has been deemed a worthy FML by those that own and run the site and it is not up to us lowly individuals who meerly visit and who have made this site so popular and great to question that.

0 1
TelevisionMan 18

He's not "sweet" and "caring" if he doesn't give a shit that his girlfriend is going crazy with pent-up lust. He can reciprocate as much as he wants when you're able.

4 29
TaoShaman 24

And his girlfriend is trying to force sex on him. Being in a relationship doesn't require sex. People can say no at any time, and that includes men.

40 4
Selene1090 26

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that lack of sex was something that can kill you? And that if you don't want to have sex that makes you selfish? Wow, have I had my priorities wrong the whole time!

23 2
Soninuva 41

26: thank you! Some people forget that some of us men are capable of thinking with our northern heads. Not all males are constantly seeking sexual satisfaction at any and all given times!

14 2
NostalgiaFreak9 41

I have a feeling that if the op were a guy, you'd be saying the opposite of what you just said.

0 5
Talented73 54

All the people in the world who are permanently disfigured or dying from cancer or other diseases, and OP is worried that she can't get laid for two weeks?

6 24
Tripartita 44

Yes, this is FML; most stories aren't about people whose lives are irrevocably ****** up. Some are about farting in public or mispronouncing words. If you WANT genuinely terrible stories, look elsewhere.

23 2
Le_ponderer 14

Doctor's order!

2 4
Jazze_fml 10

abseloutly can see how this can truely suck but seriously? you guys need to communicate. you are needing intimacy and want to be nice and that's great. but on the other hand you boyfriend is so nice that he won't take sexual acts from you without being able to reciprocate. if that's not careing even if potnetialy slightly misguided i don't know what is.

2 6
helveeta 11

What a dumb Fml! Not funny or interesting at all.

12 8
RichardPencil 30

Can't he accept your offer, play with your **** for a while and call it even for now?

3 5