Work: Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time,...

By coffee - 07/03/2013 13:44 - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046

You deserved it 37 134

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Same thing different taste

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880

You deserved it 32 666

Smart kid

By my_way_1213 - 09/06/2018 20:30

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 3 803

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 366

Monday motivation

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 2 336

By chloe_zjk - 18/02/2015 05:22 - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 702

You deserved it 12 231

By Karansuni - 14/10/2013 10:38 - Germany

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 113

You deserved it 3 389

By littledipper - 25/09/2013 03:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 033

You deserved it 4 652

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 077

Fight or flight

By Jeffery89000 - 14/09/2024 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 323

Meritocracy

By DazedAndConfused - 14/11/2021 11:00

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 110

greenie213 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:45

At least he's honest. Now try shutting your mouth every now and again.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:50

Maybe you should get the hint, stop whining and enjoy your warm cup of shut the **** up.

Comments

daniel_dd31 13

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:51

Take the free coffee, who cares!

martialeng 1

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:54

Ah, so you're one of those guys. Yeah, I would've told you to shut the hell up to, but I wouldn't have gotten you coffee. Too many people forget that you work in a cubicle and when you chat chat chat all day it's really annoying

WhisperSoflty 20

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:56

Maybe you should accept the free coffee shut up, then.

xInwex 12

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:56

Keep talking! Free coffee is free coffee...

Schizomaniac 24

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:58

You will get no coffee from me.

Imhere4fml 24

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:58

Count yourself lucky OP, many people don't get free coffee.

VannahJane 17

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:58

Free coffee is free coffee Edit: 19 beat me, sorry guys!

perdix 29

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:58

If he were smart, he'd be bringing you Ny-Quil in a Jaegermeister bottle.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:06

Can I have one, then? Strike that, just give me a good bolting anyday and I'll be satisfied.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:07

What a fool for giving you his secret! Now you'll never shut up just to get free coffee. Edit: I wasn't the first to say this nor will I be the last.:P