Work: Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time,...

By coffee - 07/03/2013 13:44 - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046

You deserved it 37 132

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Same thing different taste

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880

You deserved it 32 665

Smart kid

By my_way_1213 - 09/06/2018 20:30

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 269

You deserved it 3 801

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 366

Monday motivation

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 883

You deserved it 2 336

By chloe_zjk - 18/02/2015 05:22 - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 12 231

By Karansuni - 14/10/2013 10:38 - Germany

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 110

You deserved it 3 388

By littledipper - 25/09/2013 03:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 030

You deserved it 4 651

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 077

Fight or flight

By Jeffery89000 - 14/09/2024 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 322

Meritocracy

By DazedAndConfused - 14/11/2021 11:00

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 109

greenie213 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:45

At least he's honest. Now try shutting your mouth every now and again.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 7 March 2013 18:50

Maybe you should get the hint, stop whining and enjoy your warm cup of shut the **** up.

Comments

crudeandrudeguy 29

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:11

Well, he's not beating around the bush. If he's aggravated enough to just come out and say it I suggest you take the hint before he trades the coffee for a tire iron....

KayleeT 9

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:45

That was a polite way to tell you to shut the hell up ..

noelasis94 18

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:55

In that case never let a good thing die

starw0lf 31

Thursday 7 March 2013 19:59

Was it the giant size coffee? Buying extra time! :)

wlddog 14

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:09

Did someone say fetish??

TrinityisLife 22

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:15

Put out a bowl with a sign that says "Free Earplugs!" by their desk.

obviousboy 8

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:21

In the words of Alison Rosen, "Zip it ****!"

lochiamochia 25

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:46

How does repetitive cups of coffee aid in the suppression of the amount of speech one does? Is he trying to burn your tongue, so that you will be in too much pain to talk? Otherwise, I'm lost on his logic..... I would agree that NyQuil would have a much better effect.

countryrose92 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 22:02

You can't talk if you have liquid in your mouth. Although I agree, most people talk more between sips. Depends on who the person is. When I have coffee I shut up and drink it and enjoy my coffee and my thoughts. This logic would work for me.