Miscellaneous: Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper,...

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 567

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Same thing different taste

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Sticky situation

By CodyS - 03/09/2013 05:03 - United States - Rocky River

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 11 284

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 221

By Billz - 10/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 466

You must be ******** me

By MyLyfeSux - 25/09/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 926

You deserved it 53 972

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 7 038

Panic! At the Costco

By abutorac951 - 16/03/2020 16:48

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 192

Shit show

By Malakai - 23/10/2018 22:00

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 3 733

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 129

You deserved it 53 798

mattman1994 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:17

whoops! time to pull em up and waddle for your life! lol

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:24

You should really buy additional toilet paper before you run out. Hopefully this taught you a lesson.

Comments

mikermelon 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 5:21

I think I saw this guy at Walgreens, no joke.

mememewtp 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 5:58

cmon. i already had to go when i went to the store. the closer i came home the stronger the urge got. as peter griffin would say, "photo finish" i had to shit so bad i raced home (cars raced too dumass chacon) ran inside and forgot it. when you gotta go you gotta go. if i woulda went back to the car.. ya, wouldn't have been pretty. who the f%$k uses their hands?? or the shower/sink?? WTF is wrong with you guys. i resued a kleenex from the can. why not. its used to wipe your nose..and i used it to wipe my ass.. where shit comes from.. little snot never hurt nobody (nice ebonics right.. yoyo) i made it out with dignity NOT A DIRTY HAND OR TURNING THE SHOWER/SINK INTO A TOILET

mememewtp 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 6:10

and i posted when i was done from my pc.. fucmac

AboveTheRest 6

Thursday 20 May 2010 6:13

125 made me lmfaooooo.

deathmetalman 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 6:16

FAIL!!

kimi_ni_todoke 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 6:18

there's an app for that!

TheGuyPersonDude 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 7:01

stranded stranded stranded on the toilet bowl what do you do when you're stranded and you don't have a roll for once in your life you can prove you're a man... use your hands

OMGJohnMayer 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 7:31

wash yourself in the shower then stupid :D

milfi 6

Thursday 20 May 2010 9:41

All of these FMLs saying 'oh, I was taking a dump and I didn't have toilet paper.' You're in the BATHROOM, right ?! Wash yourself, it's even cleanlier than using toilet paper. Jeez.