Health: Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six...

By Scaredshitless - 03/02/2010 13:48 - France

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 913

You deserved it 3 738

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Same thing different taste

By ozozl - 07/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 3 877

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 752

You deserved it 7 383

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 11 474

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 319

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 037

You deserved it 2 603

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 8 366

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 992

You deserved it 962

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

hehe_oops 2

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:23

I don't understand how you could do that unless you had really runny shit bad luck though, ew btw when you said the kid "popped out" I imagined him popping out of the toilet just before you got there

050294 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 16:09

Haha, wow. FYL

Comments

OhNothingSerious 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:18

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

x805xUnknown 6

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:22

Hahahahaha, oh, this made my day!

kayla1013 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:35

lmao!

californiway 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:44

why did the kid jump out

omey123 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:37

Lmao nice one.

Aha09 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:49

Now we all wonder... where did the kid come from? ^_^ Your butt? The toilet? Hmmmm... questions questions questions... ;P

Aha09 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:49

Stupid repeats! >.

eviltomtom 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:16

You suck.

drewrox 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 4:13

lol

naana1 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 5:00

one word. ughhhhhhhhhhh

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 234

You deserved it 10 724

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 293

You deserved it 4 479

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 262

You deserved it 29 460

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 6 355

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 339

Today, I got my score back for the monologue I performed. I got points taken off for "seeming nervous." My character was supposed to be nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 329

You deserved it 2 666

Same thing different taste

Paper-thin walls

Hey there!

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