Miscellaneous: Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a...

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 00:10 - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 2 925

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 3 357

By smh - 13/05/2012 22:30 - United States - Sacramento

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 258

You deserved it 36 383

Thanks, I hate it!

By ugly - 14/11/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 3 525

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 60 996

Not loving it

By jen - 14/03/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 150

You deserved it 39 590

Lovin' it

By RAB - 18/07/2020 02:02

Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 173

I'm lovin' it

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 17:09

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 130

By nick - 12/01/2015 08:23 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 897

You deserved it 2 739

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 6 088

By Michelle C - 26/01/2009 03:44 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 5 582

badass243 6

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:37

he needs a McChillthefuckout

K_kanaka 26

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:35

RUN MOTHAFUCKA RUN!!!

Comments

ICATiger 13

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:50

YES HE CAN

ScarletBloom 14

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:50

How can a white woman be misunderstood as Obama?!

DrJesse 10

Tuesday 24 January 2012 12:21

The same way George W was misunderstood to be a good presidential candidate.

mintcar 9

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:57

LMFAO, the best FML I've read yet. Anyways, be lucky that's all he did. Drunk people are unpredictable sometimes.

jaywalton_4 10

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:59

Vote For Change

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:59

I think he was a lot more than just intoxicated to be seeing that.

lizard399 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:06

I remember my first beer...

Michael_92 20

Tuesday 24 January 2012 11:07

Again with this?? Really!?

jerseyboy732 16

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:07

this is why joe biden shouldn't leave his house after 6pm

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:28

Bum fights strikes again.

StitchMeASmile 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:57

This is total bs.

5HT2A 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 10:36

If he tried chasing you out thinking you were Sarah Palin, would you be more flattered?

nightwanderer 6

Tuesday 24 January 2012 13:39

#41 At least she is of OP's skin color and gender still an insult but at least she's being mistaken for a woman.

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 224

The Top

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 5 582

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 678

You deserved it 3 420

Today, I, a fucking international student who's been here for like two weeks, ditched the end of a lecture because I had to get off in the men's bathroom, after being degraded by an ex who hates me. Instead of moving up in life, I do this stupid shit because I like being treated like entertaining garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 490

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 109

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 298

You deserved it 7 471

Today, I told my brother a story about something I did a couple weeks ago. When I'd finished, he laughed and asked, "What grade were you in when you did that?" I'm 45 years-old and I haven't been in any "grade" since I was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 268