Miscellaneous: Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a...

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 00:10 - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 2 925

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 440

You deserved it 3 356

By smh - 13/05/2012 22:30 - United States - Sacramento

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 258

You deserved it 36 379

Thanks, I hate it!

By ugly - 14/11/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 3 525

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 60 992

Not loving it

By jen - 14/03/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 148

You deserved it 39 589

Lovin' it

By RAB - 18/07/2020 02:02

Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 172

I'm lovin' it

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 17:09

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 128

By nick - 12/01/2015 08:23 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 889

You deserved it 2 738

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 877

You deserved it 6 083

By Michelle C - 26/01/2009 03:44 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 749

You deserved it 5 580

badass243 6

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:37

he needs a McChillthefuckout

K_kanaka 26

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:35

RUN MOTHAFUCKA RUN!!!

Comments

ICATiger 13

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:50

YES HE CAN

ScarletBloom 14

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:50

How can a white woman be misunderstood as Obama?!

DrJesse 10

Tuesday 24 January 2012 12:21

The same way George W was misunderstood to be a good presidential candidate.

mintcar 9

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:57

LMFAO, the best FML I've read yet. Anyways, be lucky that's all he did. Drunk people are unpredictable sometimes.

jaywalton_4 10

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:59

Vote For Change

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 24 January 2012 8:59

I think he was a lot more than just intoxicated to be seeing that.

lizard399 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:06

I remember my first beer...

Michael_92 20

Tuesday 24 January 2012 11:07

Again with this?? Really!?

jerseyboy732 16

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:07

this is why joe biden shouldn't leave his house after 6pm

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:28

Bum fights strikes again.

StitchMeASmile 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:57

This is total bs.

5HT2A 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 10:36

If he tried chasing you out thinking you were Sarah Palin, would you be more flattered?

nightwanderer 6

Tuesday 24 January 2012 13:39

#41 At least she is of OP's skin color and gender still an insult but at least she's being mistaken for a woman.

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The Top

Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 74

Today, my Italian boyfriend claims his dad owned a restaurant and taught him everything he knows. His dad must have worked at a McDonald’s then because my boyfriend is the only Italian I’ve met who overcooks pasta into mush, can’t season tomato sauce properly, and thinks Domino’s makes good pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 984

You deserved it 5 297

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 891

You deserved it 4 075

Today, marks my one hundredth pound loss. To celebrate, I put on my first backless dress I bought for this occasion. The dress fit great. Unfortunately, today also marks the realization that instead of inheriting my father's beautiful hazel eyes, the universe blessed me with his hard to get rid of back rolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 136

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 647

You deserved it 15 912

Today, someone informed me that my new boyfriend's tattoo is really an old Nazi symbol and not just a poorly-drawn skull. Now I'm trying to figure out how to ask him whether he's a neo-Nazi or not. Why am I so nervous? I'm Jewish, he just hasn't heard my last name yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 781

You deserved it 492

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 005

You deserved it 3 227