Health: Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself...

By TheDumper - 21/06/2012 10:02 - United States - Chandler

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 206

You deserved it 30 095

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Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 077

You deserved it 12 727

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 7 792

SHAME!

By Poowee - 18/09/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 591

You deserved it 49 434

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 348

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 7 039

By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 953

You deserved it 8 898

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 816

You deserved it 3 070

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 022

You deserved it 3 828

Confinement, episode 3774

By S3XY_SiNG3R - 11/04/2020 02:00

Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 2 067

pixiebubz 26

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:07

And you plan on doing this for how long...?

jakk_mehoff 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:10

if ur taking that big of a dump maybe its time to change your diet

Comments

CorporalDunn 4

Saturday 23 June 2012 14:37

Dat shit cray.

hipposrock101 6

Saturday 23 June 2012 15:36

Well, it's natural, and I'd he really loves you, then it won't matter to him :)

Christakwon 7

Saturday 23 June 2012 18:25

I'm pooping now...

irishbohemian 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 21:25

Courtesy flushes work wonders.

MiamiHeatLover 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 21:41

Imagine the boyfriend came in the bathroom and saw her come out.::

peterf1983 3

Thursday 28 June 2012 19:35

IM disgusted just by reading about it!

FervidFaerie 0

Sunday 1 July 2012 23:14

You know that you can flush more than once, And before you're done, right?

gavo 8

Friday 3 August 2012 12:21

impressive! ( that you clog ya bog, not the bein a fanny and going t the store to cack...

spoketoosoon15 5

Sunday 9 September 2012 15:18

If you're clogging the toilet have some fiber and change your diet.

Kamon97 23

Friday 22 November 2013 15:23

Eat less why is that so hard >.>

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 6 125

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 338

You deserved it 19 746

The Top

Today, while assisting my kindergartener with distance learning, it became apparent what an incompetent bumbling mess his teacher is. In-person learning resumes next week, and I'm terrified to leave my child in a classroom with this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 154

Today, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family. The first thing my mom said to him was, “Oh, you can do so much better. Like a paint huffer or a crack whore.” She was serious, and my entire family nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 197

Today, I was admonished by a supermarket cashier because my mask had slipped below my nose. So had hers, actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 381

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 775

You deserved it 3 825

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 615

You deserved it 6 292

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 385

You deserved it 1 975