Health: Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next... - FML

By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 953

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Same thing different taste

Go get an Xray, dude

By WaychulMonster - 17/07/2022 04:00

Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 163

Put some steel toe boots on

By TheMadKian - 17/09/2023 10:00

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 270

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 6 410

Dude! Come on!

By CreeperKiller2000 - 29/05/2017 00:00

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 1 221

Dumb, but relatable

By Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 736

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 7 120

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 158

By chairlee - 07/11/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 976

You deserved it 5 043

By chloeleigholivia - 10/01/2016 19:55 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 323

You deserved it 5 099

By HotCurry - 05/09/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 167

You deserved it 3 534

Next

Top comments

Kilala700 17

Friday 9 October 2009 23:08

:(

lolz_at_nub 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:08

That's gotta hurt, bro. FYL

Comments

xHaniffax 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 17:52

aghhh now MY toe hurts just from reading that!

giganticbrain 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:15

Obviously it must be fine if he decided to complain about this whole event on FML.

cobaltchill 1

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:42

was the computer ok?

emolilyx 0

Monday 12 October 2009 6:50

Ouch. I feel your pain. I broke my pinky toe the exact same way.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 4:37

do you mean door JAM?

sirhobothesecond 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 11:06

wiley coyote**

lsd_25 8

Monday 31 October 2011 0:35

its jam not jamb

LiviaLuvsYou 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 0:29

Suck it up!

secondchance128 2

Monday 23 April 2012 6:22

*insert string of curse word here*

Keep_It_Hot99 8

Friday 8 June 2012 19:09

That blows, man. You must've been in a lot of pain to be able to post this.

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Keywords

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Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

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You deserved it 1 831

The Top

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You deserved it 3 677

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I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 7 493

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 5 563

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 5 701

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 2 937

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 172

You deserved it 2 606