Transportation: Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next...

By skrillexblewme - 02/08/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 435

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 2 700

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 154

By lotd - 31/07/2012 23:28 - United Kingdom - Henley On Thames

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 137

You deserved it 2 070

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 8 195

I am the passenger…

By northernlass - 01/10/2010 14:32 - United States

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 37 019

The Curse

By ugly me - 24/10/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 3 640

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

By Flyier - 30/09/2017 04:30

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 960

You deserved it 299

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 109

Bonzer 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:04

Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.

LappDance 16

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:04

I hope you brought headphones!

Comments

DracoSpirita 21

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:14

At least you can turn it into a joke! A priest, OP, and toothpick-guy are sitting on a plane...

gracehi 31

Friday 3 August 2012 0:21

So then the priest said, "Whatever you do, don't sell that cow!"

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:15

Toothpicks > letting the priest engage you in a seven hour long religious debate. But, I also feel bad for the priest. It sounds like he is terrified. How about you try controlling the conversation if talking to either of them is inevitable?

gracehi 31

Friday 3 August 2012 0:28

I think a religious debate would be more fun than learning about toothpicks. But that's just me I guess...

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:16

Ask flight attendant for seat reassignment.

nutorious 1

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:17

I hope when im flying back to canada something like this wont happen to me.

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:21

I hope you have some loud metal music on your iPod to listen to. Or just fall asleep.

olpally 32

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:22

That's when you order some booze from the flight attendant... A lot of it!

Irishgypsy 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:26

But not a martini. That stupid toothpick for the olives will start the store all over again

Irishgypsy 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:28

Sorry!!! Story not store

olpally 32

Friday 3 August 2012 0:39

I got it... Lol, I'm not a grammar nazi.

outoftown 26

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:22

And I thought being stuck between two aircraft engineers was bad... Sorry, OP.

mylifeawreck 1

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:27

It's ok.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:31

Best way to stop someone from talking to you is act like you can't hear them and ask them to repeat what they said over and over. They'll get tired of not getting their story out and stop talking to you. I've tested this many times and it works like a charm!