Health and Periods: Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one...

By dynah114 - 27/01/2013 19:08 - Israel - Petah Tiqva

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 351

You deserved it 2 484

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Same thing different taste

By for fuck's sake, gran - 25/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 490

You deserved it 1 778

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 086

You deserved it 4 090

Anatomy lesson

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 06:00

Today, my mom lost her shit because I was teaching my daughter about tampons. Apparently, they were created by radical feminists to trick women into “stealing” their own virginities, in order to make them unsuitable brides for decent men. I can’t believe I came out of this repressed psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 143

By tamponmayhem - 09/03/2009 19:30 - Canada

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 883

You deserved it 15 419

By Honestly - 09/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Measham

Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 011

You deserved it 526

Logic

By tampon of doom - 27/05/2021 14:01

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 104

By jannister - 13/08/2012 19:25 - Germany - Bad Blankenburg

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 2 151

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 451

You deserved it 3 063

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 257

You deserved it 20 796

Please, no more!

By Cyberella - 17/07/2009 05:36 - Australia

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 299

You deserved it 9 654

CheeseTron 15

Monday 28 January 2013 1:26

Well just don't eat one and put it on Youtube.

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Monday 28 January 2013 3:56

And the funny thing is, she has a boyfriend, while a billion of us perfectly normal girls don't. Let that sink in for a little bit

Comments

rockbandaddict85 22

Monday 28 January 2013 1:42

yeah.....mom tried this one on me too! good luck op. just an old fashioned belief....just means gmom cares an awful lot about u....timing coulda been better though lol

notjanedoe 27

Monday 28 January 2013 1:49

*Gasp* I have been robbed!

ladylilly25 20

Monday 28 January 2013 2:01

So have I! Here I was thinking I was a virgin until I had sex and really I lost it at 13!

SirEskimo 13

Monday 28 January 2013 2:09

Not sure if that's a joke I don't get, or unnecessary information

totallydonteven 5

Monday 28 January 2013 2:29

20, 26 Shame on those awful tampon companies for robbing us of our innocence so young! 30, definitely a joke you're missing xP

SirEskimo 13

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:49

Back three days later and finally realize I misread that. Derp

perdix 29

Monday 28 January 2013 2:17

It's possible. You ought to ask your gynecologist, Buster Hymen.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Monday 28 January 2013 5:00

And then check for any bleeding with Dr. Acula :)

ulissey_fml 22

Monday 28 January 2013 2:31

Your granma might have often said "amen" before losing her hymen , but you wouldn't be here if your grandpa hadn't replied " i'm in !".

Calingaladha 21

Monday 28 January 2013 2:42

Tampax, now in deflowered scent!

Catkam623 27

Monday 28 January 2013 5:48

Damn shame that isn't first possible world record for most thumbs out.

amDes 11

Monday 28 January 2013 3:00

Darn, and I held out from having sex until I was 19 when really I lost my virginity at age 10... Do tampons make you a ****?

ShannyAK 16

Monday 28 January 2013 6:11

If so, then I must be the biggest **** ever

skyeyez9 24

Monday 28 January 2013 3:19

I thought penises and the guys they are attached to took virginity

FML_Whale 18

Monday 28 January 2013 4:48

Well obviously you thought wrong.

skyeyez9 24

Monday 28 January 2013 5:09

I know. I learn alot on FML

Blackcatluck 19

Monday 28 January 2013 5:14

There is also also penises and butholes, and vaginas and toys... They are called gays and lesbians. I hope you learned from my knowledge.

buckdharma 37

Monday 28 January 2013 3:38

Sue the tampon manufacturer! When it goes to trial and your lawyer asks you if you see the party responsible for stealing your virginity, look directly at the defendant and say "U" did it.