Work: Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs... - FML

By justlittleoldme - 25/07/2012 21:05 - United States - Sarona

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 2 629

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Same thing different taste

By LoveTheElder - 11/05/2016 01:38 - United States - San Clemente

Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 046

You deserved it 1 366

By Anonymous - 19/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 688

You deserved it 507

By mike h - 10/08/2012 04:37 - United States - Mcadoo

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 468

You deserved it 4 854

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 083

You deserved it 8 761

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:23 - United States - Mulino

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 550

You deserved it 5 504

Doggy dog world

By limey6g - 22/10/2021 17:00

Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 1 645

By ashleyramsay - 23/10/2009 19:13 - Canada

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 704

You deserved it 11 816

Pspspspspsps

By imalosertho - 11/06/2014 01:01 - Canada - Truro

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 013

You deserved it 19 454

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 155

Next

Top comments

Krirn 21

Thursday 26 July 2012 8:45

They weren't seeing dogs, they were just bored.

dude1122332 9

Thursday 26 July 2012 8:45

50 points a kill, you'll prestige in no time!

Comments

Rocky209 17

Thursday 14 May 2015 22:55

What?

kayayye 22

Friday 9 October 2015 2:02

best post ever

herpderp1234 17

Monday 29 February 2016 7:48

You'd kill them faster with an imaginary gun

DiabolusIgnis 15

Thursday 19 May 2016 9:21

So, instead of actually solving anything, you encouraged mass hysteria.

AaronP11 11

Wednesday 6 July 2016 0:44

How about you set imaginary traps to kill all of them?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

The Top

Today, I remembered my landlord telling me that the renovation of our apartment would cause some "minor inconvenience during 3-5 days". We actually spent 5 WEEKS with no windows, no kitchen, and no bathroom, with construction workers appearing in my bedroom and telling me to get out at 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 521

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 48 847

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 2 848

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 956

You deserved it 3 646

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 785

You deserved it 1 730

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 103