Intimacy and Love: Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and...

By ForeverAlone - 15/10/2014 00:13 - United States - Watertown

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 3 769

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 14:35 - France - Melesse

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 3 814

Hello there

By My eyes were on the prize - 12/03/2017 00:00

Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 166

You deserved it 1 117

By shittyemployee - 28/07/2018 19:00

Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 3 168

Where you been?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe i'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 04:00

Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 282

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 552

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 3 494

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 371

By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 220

You deserved it 3 263

AnOriginalName 19

Wednesday 15 October 2014 9:15

I have eczema and it occasionally flares on my neck, right where a hickey would be. People always ask if it's a hickey, but I don't even have a girlfriend. At least you have the claim to being clumsy. My skin just hates me.

ActionFearo 39

Wednesday 15 October 2014 9:20

If they believe that you could have a significant other, then you're already half way there-ish! Be confident and proud of who you are! You'll find someone for you! Don't dwell on it, just live and have fun and it'll happen.

Comments

vikky538 28

Wednesday 15 October 2014 20:47

the moment when life sucks at its best...

oJoy 11

Wednesday 15 October 2014 21:42

just play with it, I would haha

CandyApple88 13

Thursday 16 October 2014 2:58

Just roll with it. Enjoy the high fives and kudos. And any new (positive) attention it brings.

CaptainBlack 18

Thursday 16 October 2014 3:27

Chin up, just because you're not currently getting laid doesn't mean you're not desirable. Ok maybe chin up isn't quite the best phrase to use...

nolanj21 6

Thursday 16 October 2014 4:52

Ehh. A little lie like that won't hurt you. And I would be doing the same thing dude....

EvilLittleMan 23

Thursday 16 October 2014 5:01

Add some spice to the story saying it involved the counter top in the kitchen.

TexanBatman 8

Thursday 16 October 2014 5:40

You're lucky you die

demonfacee 14

Thursday 16 October 2014 5:41

Wow, even though you didn't get laid, be proud of yourself.

Foreverlkjakh9283!@@ 9

Thursday 16 October 2014 7:40

LOL! I play the violin. Whenever I practice or rehearse a ton, I get a big and dark purple-ish and black bruise in my neck where my violin rests. Turns out it is something called fiddlers mark. I get the same reaction all the time at school. BTW just ignore the people or go with it. Either way, you look cool.