By ForeverAlone - 15/10/2014 00:13 - United States - Watertown

Spicy
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 431
You deserved it 3 769
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

AnOriginalName 19

I have eczema and it occasionally flares on my neck, right where a hickey would be. People always ask if it's a hickey, but I don't even have a girlfriend. At least you have the claim to being clumsy. My skin just hates me.

130 13
ActionFearo 39

If they believe that you could have a significant other, then you're already half way there-ish! Be confident and proud of who you are! You'll find someone for you! Don't dwell on it, just live and have fun and it'll happen.

67 5

Comments

AnOriginalName 19

I have eczema and it occasionally flares on my neck, right where a hickey would be. People always ask if it's a hickey, but I don't even have a girlfriend. At least you have the claim to being clumsy. My skin just hates me.

130 13
OhWhoCares 42

I've got so many allergies and literally every time I have an allergy attack, my neck itches the absolute worst for so long and I get all of these red patches that look like a dozen hickeys. I feel the struggle :(

11 1
Brandi_Faith 33

If they automatically assume you got laid then you are probably more desirable than you think. Now if they had been surprised and shocked and were asking instead of assuming then you may have a point, but in my opinion it sounds like you're more desirable than you think. Try to put yourself out there more maybe if being alone bothers you? Join a club, try online dating, ask a friend if they know of anyone that they could set you up with. Try to have more confidence because it doesn't sound like your as bad looking as you think. :) **Edit: sorry, this was supposed to be in response to comment #2.**

16 1
AnOriginalName 19

28, I'll just ignore the last part of that comment and assume it was meant for me. Even though I already know that I'm a sexy ************.

8 1
ActionFearo 39

If they believe that you could have a significant other, then you're already half way there-ish! Be confident and proud of who you are! You'll find someone for you! Don't dwell on it, just live and have fun and it'll happen.

67 5
hufflepuffle 13

He's halfway to being a couple. All OP needs now is another person....

29 1
elcee1987 18

Suuure you tripped *wink. Just call it a happy accident cause now people will think you're taken, and thus desirable.

6 22
CallMeMask 23

Play it off. Not like they need to know you injured yourself.. :p

8 5
drummer1017 8

Just roll with it, they won't be able to disprove you, and you may get more ladies this way!

7 15
Queensland 27

I doubt girls find someone covered in hickeys attractive

14 1
SystemofaBlink41 27

I beg to differ! I remember when I covered myself in fake hickeys and the ladies were swarming! Ha ha... ...I need some time alone...

3 3
Brandi_Faith 33

I also doubt that more people are going to find Op more attractive now that they are supposedly "taken." At least those people wouldn't be anyone worth dating.

4 1
MegroKitty 8

yeah but some people don't know how to back off and want someone more when they think they can't have them

0 2
keiNan_fml 35

don't worry OP i am sure it will happen soon.

2 3
foxwasalamb 24

personally, i think huge dark hickeys are kind of trashy. other people can do it, its just not for me

32 4
marcelmg 10

Yeah, next time accidentally drop some condoms on the floor. XXL of course.....

30 2
Pingvinai 37

Well, technically you got screwed by a piece of furniture.

38 1