Kids: Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told...

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 557

You deserved it 3 586

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Same thing different taste

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 2 774

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 2 533

By campmom - 08/07/2009 05:02

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 412

You deserved it 3 836

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 994

You deserved it 23 324

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 3 064

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 883

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 475

ImTheAlpha 30

Friday 11 October 2013 1:12

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings.

Rainhawk94 27

Friday 11 October 2013 1:23

Quiet you loofah

Comments

imthatperson1993 8

Friday 11 October 2013 10:50

don't feel bad, my uncle told me that m&m's where called s&m's.. long story short, I went around stores asking for s&m's.

jojidubi4 10

Friday 11 October 2013 11:07

At first I was thinking of the French word for shower which is d0uch3 as well

JSparkz19 13

Friday 11 October 2013 18:18

sounds like your brother is such a loofa...

mk8833 9

Saturday 12 October 2013 1:44

What's a loofah? The word sounds familiar but I don't really think I've heard it in a way that explains the definition.

jcorn012 1

Saturday 12 October 2013 3:35

Funny!! It's also French for Shower. Lol!!!

nubsnipesu 1

Saturday 12 October 2013 5:44

i dont get it why are they mad at OP again?? Op let his son use his obnoxious asshole person?

eggy911 7

Sunday 13 October 2013 16:36

A douche is a water spout used to clean yourself after you use the washroom. No big deal...

sanecatlady 13

Sunday 20 October 2013 6:20

Up here in Canada there was a contest not long ago where the cap liners on some brand of soft drink had two words written in French and English but did not have the same meaning, and some English-speaking Canadians thought the caps said things like "You Douche" or "You Retard". Douche and retarde mean "shower" and "late" in French. Needless to say they changed the caps. And you know what else? Tampon is also French for stamp. Seen it on a bilingual package of rubber stamps, lol.